Everything is possible

Cry on my shoulder.

Chapter 44: Cry on my shoulder.

June 9, 2014

Justin's Point Of View.

I'm done crying. I've cried ever since I saw that hurtful expression on her face when she found out the truth. And on the inside I've been crying ever since I realized what I had done.

Never in my life have I been more ashamed of myself. Never in my life have I hated myself this much. Never in my life have I lost a person I loved so dearly before now.

How am I supposed to live with myself after loosing her over one big fat mistake?

"What are you doing here?" I blink my eyes twice and turn around. What is he doing here?

"I could ask you the same." I smartly reply and put 5 dollars in the machine. I'm getting a chocolate bar, helps on the pain they say.

"You wanna know why I'm here?" Ryan fakes a laugh. I nod as a sign for him to continue. "I'm here because the girl you cheated on - betrayed - has a broken hand after hitting a rocky wall after finding out that you cheated on her, and is currently in surgery."

I widen my eyes, "Is she here? Is she okay? I need to see her, this is all my fault."

"Forget it okay? You're not getting to see her, I think she made it pretty clear earlier today she doesn't wanna see you. Now why are you here?"

"Need stitches. Don't you recall? I got punched multiple times." I point at my cheek, jaw, nose - basically my whole face.

"I remember. I was there. Justin I really am sorry about that and I'm not saying you deserved that, but-"

"No, I did. I deserved every punch." Tears threaten to escape, so I grab my chocolate bar and take a seat on the closest chair.

There is not exactly a lot of people here, only Ryan and myself plus a few strangers if you discount Scooter who's discussing matters with the doctor. A few females, even male doctors steal a glance our way very now and then. It doesn't bother me though, they probably just think I'm a messed up asshole like Hanna does.

"Why'd you do it?" Ryan asks after a few minutes of silence.

I continue to keep my eyes on my hand that too have a few bruises. Didn't punch anyone back, just took a little anger out on myself when I saw Hanna's stuff were gone as with her.

"I was drunk.. completely waisted. Didn't recall what I did before this morning but it was too late."

"I know you Justin, this is not like you. You don't cheat."

"But I did okay? And there's nothing I can do to get Hanna to take me back, forgive me at least." I stand up and look around me.

"I'm sorry mate, there really isn't. Not for now anyway. Just.. don't come and see her, she doesn't want to see you okay?" Ryan stands up and sends me an apologetic frown.

As much as I want to see her, hold her, kiss her, hug her, call her mine again, I simply nod and say, "Promise you'll take care of her please."

"Promise."

With that said it feels like a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders so I send him a thankful smile and walk back to my doctor.

"Hey son, sit down and let me take a look at you."

I sit.

"Does it hurt when I touch your jaw?"

I vince at his touch.