Everything is possible

Nervous

Chapter 8: Nervous

July 16, 2013

Hanna's Point Of View.

We're at Justin's house, lazily laying in the sofa watching an action movie I don't remember the name of. My feet are on Justin's lap, as he gently massages them. I can't help but lightly moan at the amazing feeling.

"Mmm." I moan in satisfaction with my eyes closed. While Justin's massaging my feet, I enter my own world, a bad memory flying through my brain. I should tell him. I have to tell him.

Suddenly Justin stops massaging my feet. I open my eyes and let out a deep breath and notice Justin is staring down at me, biting his lip, making all the hairs on my body raise.

"You're so beautiful." He breaths out after a moment of silence.

I slowly shake my head no in disagreement. I wish he would stop lying to me. "No I'm not." I whisper and look away.

Justin pulls me closer to him by my legs, the back of my thighs now resting at his lap. He lifts my chin up making me look in to his beautiful hazel brown eyes that make me melt. "You're beautiful." He repeats sincerely.

"Stop lying." I mumble.

"I'm not lying."

"Yes you are."

"Am not."

"You-" my voice cracks.

"Hanna." Justin whispers and pulls me in to a tight and comforting hug, as I start crying in to his chest, my hands clutching in to his shirt.

I feel safe and loved in his arms.

"I'm sorry." I mumble in to his chest.
Justin slightly pulls away, his arms still protectively around me.

"For what?" He asks.

"Look at me. I'm a mess." I say truthfully and whipe my tears away.

"You're not a mess. You're human." he whispers. The room becomes silent, seeing as Justin just turned the television off.

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

His voice tells me he knows something is up, only he doesn't know exactly what.

"I was bullied." I begin after a moment of thinking on weather or not to tell him right now. Justin's head immediately turns to me. He slowly nods his head for me to continue, so I do. "All the way from second grade to fifth grade, I was bullied. I was called fat, ugly, pig and a lot of shitty words.. kids even told me to go and kill myself. Every day I would come running home from school, weather school was finished or not." I say my voice shaky. Justin continuously rubs my back in comfort and kisses my forehead.

"I thought about ending my pain sometimes by just taking my life, but I knew that some people actually loved me and wouldn't want me dead. And here I am, alive and I have friends who love me. Family that would do anything for me. And I have the best boyfriend I could possibly wish for." I whisper with tears running down my cheeks. Justin quickly wipes them away and pulls me closer to him, if possible.

"The experience of being bullied, caused me to not feel good about myself. And to not take compliments. So whenever you tell me how beautiful I am, I think about those bullies and what they planted in my head."

"But baby, I want you to trust me when I say how beautiful you are, because you truly are the most beautiful girl I've ever laid my eyes on. You're natural, and natural makes you perfect." Justin smiles.

"Thank you for being so sweet." I hug his chest.

"You are so strong." Justin whispers a single tear running down his cheek, making me lightly smile.