Everything is possible

"Is you a dickhead?

Chapter 29: "Is you a dickhead?"

November 17-18, 2013

Hanna's Point Of View.

"Wait, have you told her we've had sex?" Justin asks me as soon as Brianna has left the room.

"Uh yeah?" I question as if it's obvious and send him a weird look. "She's my best friend, it's what girls talk about. Don't guys talk about sex?"

Justin shakes his head, "No, yes, no, I mean ugh we talk about it but not like oh em gee how was it." He mimics a high pitched girl.

I laugh at his goofiness. "Are you mad?" I question.

"No baby, of course not. I'm not surprised actually."

"What do you mean?" I throw myself at the bed.

"You got a big mouth." Justin whispers sexily against my cheek, his words sending chills down my spine. Referring to the blowjob are we?

"Just shut up and kiss me already." I say. And with that said, our lips are dancing together, our bodies mangled.

"I'm not tired." Justin groans on to my lips, letting his fingers slip back in to my thong. I flinch at the sudden contact and inside me, I get scared. Justin continues his actions, his tongue sliding all over my body, now at my tummy. I flinch again and try to push him off me, but he keeps his grip on me.

"Please stop!" I cry out.

"Hanna.." Justin breaths out in surprise and sits up.

"I'm sorry," I touch my forehead, feeling something wet hit my cheek. "I just- uh-"

"Are you okay?"

"I don't want to tonight." I look away from him.

"It's cool, I'm kinda tired, so I'm just gonna-yeah." The tone in his voice scaring me. He gets comfortable under the sheets, his back facing me. My throat forms in to a lump as I just sit in the same position staring right ahead of me.

Eventually I fell asleep last night, considering how upset I was and still am. I'm also angry, not at me, but at Justin. He got slightly angry because I didn't want to have sex with him whatsoever. Was he really planning on forcing himself?

I don't understand. I thought he was understanding and loving, but I guess I was wrong. Very wrong. He scared me to death last night. It was like experiencing the shit from last year all over again. What would've happened if he didn't stop when I told him to?

"Hanna I'm sorry." The sound of Justin startles me. I stay quiet. "Hanna."

"The fuck you aren't." I curse and turn around. I raise to my feet and cross my arms sassily over my chest.

"Bab-"

"Shut the fuck up!" I scream. Justin stares at me in utter shock. "You got mad at me because I didn't wanna have sex with you, what the fuck is wrong with you? I've just told you about my past and then you do shit like that and try to force yourself at me.."

"I didn't-"

"Shut. The. Fuck. Up. And leave me the fuck alone." I say each word slowly and disgustingly, my voice weak and wanting to make him feel the pain. Justin's facial expression gets hurt and he bows his head in defeat, before leaving me alone in the kitchen. I stare at the wall in front of me, blankly, in shock that I just said and did that.

That was so unlike me. I'm a good person, I don't shout at people for basically nothing. But then again, it wasn't for nothing. He scared me last night. I was frightened like shit after he fell asleep. I cried until like 3am this morning. And it was all because of him and what he did. I'm not willing to forgive him just yet, need time for myself first.