Everything is possible

Red lines

Chapter 34: Red lines

December 27, 2013

Hanna's Point Of View.

Our hands are linked, our bodies as close as glued together. Justin has me close by his side and has his arms wrapped firmly around me.

We're in the doctors office waiting for the blood results. In front of us there's a brown wooden disk with a stationed computer on and other than that the disk is filled up with normal office stuff.

Gosh I hate being here. Hell I hate this whole situation. It's as if someone has sucked out all the air in the room. Being here is.. well I hate it.

Our doctor, Dr. Christiansen, steps in to the office again now with the test results and a few more papers in his arms. He's a middle aged man preferably in his mid fifties. His grey hair matches perfectly his long white gown and his distressed skin color. This man honestly looks sick or something.

I send Justin a quick glance and wait for Dr. Christiansen to give us the test results.

"Long wait?" He asks and puts his documents on the disk. When we don't answer, he folds his hands. "I see why you think you're pregnant, you have all the symptoms. You also say three out of 5 of the tests you took were positive. But they were wrong. You're not pregnant Ms. Roberts."

I breath out and get a weird feeling in my body. Justin's smiling from ear to ear, but somehow I feel like I've forgotten how to smile. Shouldn't I be happy? I should, but a part of me isn't. A big part.

"You're not pregnant." The doctor repeats with a gentle smile. I fiddle with my fingers and get sad on the inside.

"But the tests sa-"

"Ms. Roberts. Those tests aren't always one hundred percent safe. I'm sorry though as far as I'm concerned, you didn't intend on even getting pregnant." Dr. Christiansen states gently and professionally. I stare at the wall behind him. "But we still got a few things to discuss. For starters.. kid, do you know how to use a condom?" Our Dr. asks looking at Justin. Justin turns shy and blushy.

I snap out of it and stand up. All four eyes are on me, "Need to use the toilet."

In the girls room, I don't use the toilet at all for that matter. No, I stare at my reflection through the mirror and try to figure out why I'm not reacting the way I should react. I should be happy I'm not pregnant. Why am I not happy? Did I want there to be an actual fetus growing inside me? Did I want to be a teen mom?

"Sweetie?" Justin asks from the office.

I turn to the door, "Coming in a minute."

A minute turns in to 2 and 2 soon become 5. "Babe." Justin tries reaching out for me again. I sigh and walk over to the door. Hesitantly and shakily I switch the door knob and open the door. My eyes land on a frowning Justin standing before me. I feel myself build up some tears, but I quickly sniffle to stop myself before I cry.

I can't cry. Not again. Not now.

"The Doctor wants to tell you why you've been throwing up- have you been crying? Are you okay?" He becomes worried.

"I am actually feeling so much better now." I lie and sit down to listen to what the doctor has to say.

"Ms. Roberts." He starts and puts his glasses on. "Your blood tests say you are, as confirmed, not pregnant."

Could you not? I'm having a hard enough time processing this. I heard you the first time. Justin squeezes my hand as we continue to listen.

"Do you drink a lot water?" I nod. "Eat?" I nod again. "How active are you?"