Therapy: Session 2 [Personal]

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Hi this is going to be a little bit of a rant because I am pissed.

Very pissed, actually.

Here's what happened:

"Can you do the dishes?" asks my dad.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not lazy. I don't mind doing the dishes. I really don't. I clean up 5-6 times a week. So I'm used to it. I don't mind it. 

What pissed me off is my dad asking me today to do them.

I worked 10 hours today.

I got up at 5 am. I was at work at 6 am. I stayed until almost 4 pm. It was ridiculously busy. I spent my entire shift pleasing shitty customers who treat me like garbage for minimum wage. I burned my hands multiple times on the grill. I was on my feet the entire time. I spent 10 hours doing this today.

It's also the day before my 18th birthday, but that's beside the point.

My dad knows that I worked all day today. I was gone before he woke up. He knows that I worked all day. He saw me come home, covered in sweat and grease.

So he damn well knew that I had a shitty day.

And I damn well know that he didn't work last night or tonight.

While I took a nap, my parents decided to get pizza for dinner. Which means that there aren't very many dishes. There were three plates and three cups. Oh, and you had to put the pizza in a plastic bag. Not hard, right?

Again, I wouldn't mind doing this. 

On any other day.

If any other person asked me.

But my dad, who's had the last two days completely off of work, asked me to do them, after a full day of working. I had been doing dishes before he was awake. When I wasn't taking orders from grumpy customers at 6:30 am, I was washing greasy dishes and getting myself covered in dish water. At six in the fucking morning. Before the goddamn sun had come up. I had already done my dishes for the day.

He knew that. But he was just too damn lazy to stick some goddamn plates in the dishwasher.

I'm just really pissed about that. I'm so sick of walking on eggshells around him. It's all about him in my house. I know his job is shit, and I feel bad for him, I do, but it's getting so frustrating to be catering to him all the time. 

I made a joke to my mom, saying "I'm glad I graduate on a Tuesday so Dad can be off work." She replied by saying, "Oh of course he would have come!"

But I'm not so sure about that. Any time I have any sort of event, he can't come.  He has come to one of my band concerts in all of high school. One. He never comes. Or when he does come, he complains about it the entire time. "The chairs in your auditorium are too small." "Where's my money?" "Tonight would have been the perfect night to drive."

Also, another, kind of random thing. My dad had to walk inside of a local restaurant to get the pizza we ordered tonight and he didn't wear a mask.

I had a suspicion that he was against masks. Not because of political reasons, but just because he doesn't like them and he's not used to them. He works completely alone, so he very rarely ever has to wear a mask.

We went out to a restaurant the other night (Covid safe, I promise. It's actually kind of cool how they made it safe, but a story for another time) and my mom wanted a picture of us with the mountains in the back. To be near the only good view of the mountains, we would have to be around maskless people. My dad suggested that we just go over there for the picture and I flat out told him, "If we leave I'm putting on my mask" and he said something to the extent of "For fuck's sake."

Like wearing a mask is normal to me! I don't give a shit anymore! As I mentioned earlier, I had a long, hard shift today and I wore my mask the entire time. I was sweating through my shirt, and I wore my mask the entire time.

I would rather put a tiny piece of cloth over my face for most of the day than, oh I don't know, transmit a deadly virus to people I love (like my dad).

It's just so hypocritical. He complains about the governor of Texas reopening the state, and yet he bitches and moans about wearing a mask. And he didn't even wear one when he went into the store!! People who come into my work without a mask get a very judgmental look from me, and my dad definitely got a look when he got back into the car (because I drove him there, for some reason).

Anyways, I'm just really pissed at my dad right now. I love my family, I do, but it's things like this that make me very excited to move out.

Also if you read all of this I love you and am giving you a virtual hug :)