Therapy: Session 2 [Personal]

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so i went skiing for the first time yesterday.

for someone who lives in colorado and has never gone skiing before, this was kind of a big deal. my uncle agreed to take me so i picked up skis at a ski rental place and then we went off! my mom and my aunt went as well.

i went to a small ski town near where i live. it's not as well known or huge as breckenridge or vail but it's super close and still pretty good.

we spent an hour going up there and then when we got there my uncle and i put on all our gear (snow pants, ski boots, coats, gloves, hats, helmets, goggles) while my mom and my aunt froze standing outside.

then we walked up to the hill! my mom and my aunt went into the lodge while me and my uncle got set up. we got our lift tickets and he taught me how to put skis on and walk in skis (which is very difficult). we went to this place that was basically just kind of a bowl made of snow so he could teach me how to get up if i fall.

it's very difficult.

he also showed me how to snowplow (which is the most basic way to slow down)

after a while we were kicked out by a group of like three year olds who were in ski school. how embarrassing was it to see three year olds who have more experience than me

anyways

then my uncle said that we could go up on the bunny hill to actually learn how to ski! woo! we got on the chairlift with not a ton of issues and then when we got off i didn't fall! i'm very proud of that.

then we went down the tiny lil bunny hill!

and i fell twice.

i wasn't expecting not to fall, but i still think it's funny that i fell twice on my first run down. i think both times i just got a little too fast for my comfort level so i just fell.

i didn't cry either time though! i think my uncle was a little surprised by that.

the second time i fell, i somehow managed to fall on my ski or i threw my ski up in the air or something weird, and one of my skis impaled my ass. i'm not sure how it quite happened, but one of my skis hit the lower part of one of my buttcheeks really really hard and it hurt so fucking bad.

anyway, we went the rest of the way down the hill and then we went back to the chairlift and back up we went!

when we went down the second time, i didn't fall! and then the third time, i didn't fall either! i didn't fall on the bunny hill for the rest of the time! we went back up to the top of the bunny hill like 4 or 5 more times and my uncle taught me more about how to turn and cut the snow to slow me down. i got good at it and comfortable with it.

i was getting thirsty so me and my uncle went to the lodge and found my mom and my aunt and then chilled with them and ate some foods.

then we went back up the bunny hill three more times and then my uncle and i decided that i was ready to go up on the big hill.

spoiler alert: i wasn't.

we went on these really nice chill trails that were kind of switchback-y and one wrong move could put you off the edge of a mountain. i did not know this going in and as a severe acrophobic, i was constantly falling as to avoid plummeting to my death off the edge of a mountain.

i think i can now count my uncle as the first family member who has heard me cuss. i would say "jesus christ!" and "mother of god!" when i got scared. (side note, it's so weird that i said mother of god. i've never ever said that before). that's not terrible, but i'm 90% sure he heard me say, at some point "shitshitshitshitshit" when things got particularly scary.

after a while i got the hang of them, and i was having a lot of fun taking the corners. but then, the trails ended and we had to go down this quite steep part.

i was looking down at it and i was so fucking terrified. out of my mind petrified. so instead of doing what any rational person would do, i started to sob.

looking back on it, i was having a full blown anxiety attack because i was so scared and was shaking too bad to ski safely. but there was no other options, i had to ski down.

i skies for a little bit, but then it got too bad for me. so i shit you not, i literally took off my skis and walked the rest of the way down the hill. i was actually not even walking, i was sliding down. i was skiing down the hill, just without wearing skis.

we got down to a part where i could ski again so i put my skis back on and went for it. we got close to the end and started going down this really big hill and i was doing good for a while, but then i tried to cut the snow but i did it on too much of an edge and i ended up falling.

but it was no average fall. it was head over heels spinning out completely on the snow type of fall. it was epic.

and then we eventually got down the hill (it took about an hour) and we went inside to munch and drink water. it was nice and relaxing and my sandwich was delicious.

after that, my uncle went down one of the black diamond trails so i just went down on the bunny hill alone three more times. and then my uncle finished up and we went down the bunny hill together 4ish more times.

and then it was 4. and we had to go home.

we drove home, gave our skis back to the rental place, and then i went home, laid on the couch, and didn't get up for several hours.

so skiing was fun! i had loads of fun for the most part! and now i'm extremely sore!! woo!!