Therapy: Session 2 [Personal]

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tw: self harm. kind of intense trigger warning so stay safe my friends <3

i've been dealing with self harm on and off for over four years, right? and sophomore year (especially spring semester) i was really bad about it but this summer i've been good for the most part

but oh lord

my itching to do it has gotten really really bad

to the point where i'm systematically twitching my toes so that i can stop thinking about wanting to do it

i've come so far but i want to lose it all right now

i don't care about my friends

i don't care about my mom

i just want the feeling of it to be back. i want to feel the relief. i want this feeling of itching and wanting to go away.

i want to feel adequately punished for being as shitty as i am.

please god

please

let this feeling stop