Therapy: Session 2 [Personal]

// 92

why the fuck am i wasting my time being someone who i don't like?

like i get that i'm not gonna be fully happy until high school's done and i can drive and live and whatever but... i'm disgusted with who i am now,

what's stopping me from changing it?

the answer is nothing.

there's nothing stopping me from doing the things i want to do and inch me closer to being who i want to be. it might take time, but i can do little things. i can make myself be happier.

i'm so sick of this edgy, 13 year old bullshit hole i've dug myself into. it's what comforted me in the darkest period of my life, but now it's just holding me back. i want to be wearing greens and yellows and pinks, but i'm too scared to finally emerge from that black hole.

well you know what? fuck that black hole.

i'm going to make myself happier. i'm going to change. this spring, this summer, this lifetime. i'm going to change. and i'm going to make myself happy.

UPDATE: it's called shitty mental health, theo. none of your self care bullshit is gonna fix deep seated issues you dumbass