Therapy: Session 2 [Personal]

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Hello friends! It has been so, so long since I've last written in this book! 

I've been checking out a few of my past entries, and damn I really used this book just to complain and spit out meaningless thoughts, huh? Well I have a Twitter for that now!

Anyways...

I wanted to give you all a bit of a proper update. Maybe this is just for myself... who knows. If anything I'll come back and read this later... so hello future Dillon!

Life lately has been wild! 

I touched on this briefly a few chapters ago but I turned 18 a few months back! Yep, I'm officially an adult. Somehow. Still don't feel like one. 

I also finished out high school! It was crazy. A lot of things came together at the end of the year. I painted a mural outside of the band room, which was a huge honor. All of the band kids were so jealous of me. I'm very much an amateur artist, so I don't know why my director chose me. Luckily it turned out fairly well. In total I spent about 26 hours on it. 

I also was the lead in our school play! Doing that play took a big toll on my mental health (for several reasons) but it ended up being a wonderful experience. It cost a lot, but I would do it again in a heartbeat.

I got several academic awards towards the end of the year. This portion is going to be a little braggy so just hang on. I got an award for Language Arts because apparently I took 15 English classes while in high school (you have to take 5 to graduate) and I've had almost every single English teacher in the school. Apparently I also write really well which I'm not so sure about. I also got the drama club award! That one wasn't really a shock because I was the only senior in the club this year but it was still nice! My director said very wonderful things about me that I still think about. I also got 2 awards for maintaining above a 4.0 GPA all of high school!

Okay. Bragging is over.

And then I graduated! 

Which was probably the least exciting thing about the end of high school, but I did it!

I also had a graduation party which I've been told was great but I spent the entire time wanting to die. This is going to sound so fucking selfish but it's my book so I don't care. I hated that stupid party. I don't really have very many friends so I knew the party was going to be just my family and then my mom's friends. I even asked her to not have one and she refused. Personally, a grad party didn't really feel needed because graduating high school wasn't much of an accomplishment for me. It was something I was expected to do and I did. No need for celebration. My mom definitely threw the party as a victory lap for herself, but that's besides the point. Anyways, long story short, I had an awful time at my own graduation party.

Summer time! Or for me, depression time. 

Right after graduating I launched myself into working full time. I had just hit two years of making minimum wage at McDonald's. Yep. The shittiest of all shitty jobs. Oh boy.

Fun fact: my friend who used to rip on McDonald's nonstop starting working there!

In the beginning/middle of June I went on a wonderful road trip and saw the Grand Canyon! It was a really long but really fun trip with a six year old who doesn't know how to listen.

Then more work!

And then I visited my college for the very first time which was amazing. I was finally able to get a feel for the town and the school. And boy oh boy I'm glad I trust my intuition because choosing this school almost blind was a great choice. I love it so much and I'm not even going there yet!

Then more work! But this time it's different! Because I quit!

My last day was July 18th. I cannot stress how happy I am to not be working there any more. After two years, 26 months, knowing every single job in the store, and a shitload of angry customers, my time at McDonald's came to a close and I could not be happier. 

And then I went to New Jersey! Aah! I went to meet an internet friend I had known for a little under four years and it was an incredible experience. I had never been that far east and it was just so different over there! And so cool! We did lots of really really cool things that I'll be thinking about for a very long time. 

I love her so very much. I didn't think I could miss someone that I only spent a week with in real life, but here I am. Fun fact: I met this friend through Wattpad!

Here's where the story takes a little twist. 

My dog died while I was in New Jersey. Brodey, my best friend, the love of my life, is gone.

My absolute worst fear was Brodey dying while I wasn't there for him. And not only was I just at school or something, I was on vacation 2000 miles away from him. Talk about my worst fear coming true. I know that all he knows from me is love, but all I can think about is that for the last three days of his life I was not there and he didn't know why.

I won't get too into that, but it's still weighing heavily on me. So read these next few paragraphs with a grain of salt.

I got a tattoo! Two days after I got home from New Jersey I got my first ever tattoo! I got dinosaurs walking across my thigh, and they turned out so cool. I loved the tattoo artist and definitely plan on going to her again.

Now there will be a short, light mention of self harm. Nothing graphic, but please keep yourself safe by not reading the next paragraph if necessary. I won't take it personally.

One thing I haven't told anyone I know personally about my tattoo: I came up with the concept of the dinosaurs as a way to cover old self harm scars. Things changed over the 4 months between my 18th birthday and getting this tattoo, so that wasn't the case any more. But that fact still lingers in my mind. To me, this tattoo is now a representation that self harm is a thing of my past. I'm going on a little over 100 days clean, and I plan to keep it that way.

And now you're all caught up! All I've been doing is watching The Big Bang Theory and reading books.

Books! I almost forgot! I was going to recommend some of my 5 and 4 star reads!

5 stars: 

- Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe 

- If We Were Villains

- Six of Crows & Crooked Kingdom (a duology)

4.5-5 stars:

- The Secret History

- The Bell Jar

- The Song of Achilles

- One Last Stop

4-4.5 stars:

- The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue

- Hamlet

- Any Way The Wind Blows

And with that out of the way, now you're completely caught up on my recent life! I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I loved word vomiting it.

I go to college in 2 days! So who knows if I'll update or continue to shitpost randomly or just abandon Wattpad forever.

Anyways...

If you stuck with this for the last 1265 words I owe you a kiss. I appreciate your time and attention.

And even if you scrolled through this without reading a single word, I still thank you.

I'll see you on the flip side!

Much love, forever and always,

- Dillon