John: i just saw sera walk around with high heels
Sera: fsdj
Sera: sorry i tripped
Sera: my mom said not to wear them
John: so passive aggressive
Asslo: yeah
Sera: that's nothing compared to what my six year old self did
John: tell us
Sera: no
Remi: sera yes
Sera: sera no
John: sera yes
Sera: FINEEEEE
Sera: So basically i bought some super expensive purebread puppies for like $2000 and hid them from my mom for like a year and then they had puppies (they weren't siblings btw) and then she found out bc like a six year old can't take care of puppies. Then i sold them and got like $7000 total but i told my mom i had sold them for like $50 each so i ended up with like $6500 in total
Isen: pure bread
John: dogs made of bread
Sera: fuck off
Asslo: i did a worse thing
Sera: do tell
Asslo: So basically my ability had finally manifested itself for the first time and it was kinda strong. I had gotten in trouble for smashing my little sister's head to the ground w like the shields version of it so then my mom came after me but my passive activated so i uh flung myself out the window and used my ability to not take that bad damage from the fall. So I'm just running running running and finally i get to a frozen lake (it was winter) so i use my ability again and slide across it. My mom literally used a variant of my barrier to fling me back like a fucking cannonball
Sera: yeah but you didn't profit off of it
Asslo: i did
Asslo: a small crowd had gathered to see this like 2.1 eight year old ice skate and run w this little yellow barrier
John: i had nothing until middle school and then hoooooo boy
Asslo: did i ask
John: stfu you mf piece of shit loser crap king can't keep his shit together useless piece of shit doesn't know anything you barrier bitch
Asslo:
John: so the worst thing i did as a kid (w my ability) was become a nightmare. Like literally i stole this adult's ability to enter people's dreams, this teenager's ability to become invisible, and this cashier's ability to spurt blood without pain and i combined them into nightmare. So basically when my dad was sleeping i entered his dreams and scared the shit out of him like i literally heard him scream from the next room over. Lol and then he like burst open my door and i tried to deactivate my ability but eeeeh ig i was too hyped up and i instead became invisible on the spot
Sera: then?
John: then he kinda grabbed my arm and told me not to ever do that again lol
Sera: no money was involved
John: he paid me $50 to not terrorize him at night
John: we're not rich like you or asslo ok
Isen: im not rich
John; nobody gaf
Blyke: i do
Remi: shut up you weird ass half couple
John: I hate to agree with pinkie pie but yes
John: off topic but ima give yall nicknames
John has renamed Sera to Crush.
John has renamed Asslo to barrier bitch.
John has renamed Blyke to pew pew lazer kid
John has renamed Remi to lightning mcqueen
John had renamed themself to secret god tier
Secret god tier has renamed Isen to pen weirdo
Crush: so you had a crush on me from the start huhhh
Secret god tier; yep
Barrier bitch: tbh barrier bitch isn't that bad
Secret god tier: i can think of a lot worse
Pew pew lazer kid: why tho why
Pen weirdo: pen weirdo? Really
Secret god tier: would you prefer stalker?
Pen weirdo: no
Lightning mcqueen: vroom vroom baby
Barrier bitch: my barrier is activated
Secret god tier: nobody cares loser
Crush: apparently im hot
Secret god tier: temperature or other
Crush: temperature im like sweating
Lightning mcqueen: it is hot out
Barrier bitch: it's 30 degrees out
Secret god tier: stfu celsius bitch
Secret god tier has renamed Barrier bitch to Celsius bitch
Secret god tier: it's 86 degrees not 30 dumbass
Celsius bitch: fuck you
Secret god tier: i am virgin
Crush: lol
Celsius bitch: that's not what i meant
Secret god tier: i dont give a single fuck
Pew pew lazer kid: neither do i celsius bitch
Pen weirdo: my pens are amazing
Lightning mcqueen: aight bye
Secret god tier: i gtg do secret god tier stuff
Crush: can i help
Secret god tier: sure
coming next:
Asslo: i hate you john go eat a moldy banana
John: don't tell me what to do
YOU ARE READING
the shit that goes on at wellston | chatfic
Fanfiction"'ASSLO.'" Remi makes a group chat, but whoooo the UnO cast is NOT easy to deal with. Crack ensues. Achievements: #1 in Jeraphina #1 in Blemi #1 in Asslo #1 in Unordinary #1 in Arlaine #1 in Cecile #1 in John Doe #1 in Jera #1 in Blyke x Remi #12 in...