Blick - Blyke
Asslo - Arlo
Calid - Isen
[1:03 am]
John: wHAT THE FUCK SERAPHINA
Sera: im so sorry john
Calid: ughhh what happened
Blick: you better not have contaminated my sandwich counter
Blick: again
Sera: wellllll
Blick: damn it
John: she dropped the thing of knives onto my feet
Sera: im sorry
John: IT FUCKING HURTS AHHH
Sera: ill carry you to the infirmary
John: nah i can walk
Sera: bitch you are leaving puddles of blood wHAT KIND OF PAIN TOLERANCE DO YOU HAVE
John: i pretended to be a cripple for about a year and a half
Sera: true
John: give me your ability
Sera: kk
Calid: john's ability is so op
Blick: i wish i had it
John: stop simping over me im in a relationship
Calid: i wasnt simping
John: yeah you were
Sera: focus, john, focus
[15 minutes later]
John: i have le crutches
Sera: no more sandwich counter
John: im too jumpy to finish it
John: like are you gonna take out my eye cecile-style now?
Remi: guys i need to sleep
John: turn off your fucking notifications
Asslo: damn it
Asslo: i need a drink
John: apparently i cant mix champagne with valium so ig you can take mine
Asslo: you already dropped off the empty bottles at my door for me to throw away a few days ago
Sera: i drank the rest on a particularly bad night
John: what happened
Sera: perfectionism
Sera: don't make a fucking joke out of it
John: i would never
Sera: i forced myself to study for thirty hours straight after getting a 99
John: it's all gonna be okay
Sera: im gonna cry
John: let's sob together
[5:34 pm, next day]
John: i invented a new game
John: every time i feel depressed, i take a valium
Sera: that's called a drug addiction you fucking donkey
Calid: we need to take john's valium away
Sera: are you fucking kidding me
Sera: he has such bad nightmares he literally punched me in the face one night
John; im sorry about that
John: we're even now actually bc you dropped fucking knives on my foot
Remi: oh btw john how are you doing
John: eh meh
John: i can walk but i need crutches
Elaine: i saw this whole horde of girls snap pictures of john hobbling around the school
Elaine: i think one of them made it their profile picture
John: what the fuck
Sera: i have a picture of me sitting in john's lap as my lock screen so that people know
Sera: h e i s f u c k i n g t a k e n
John: chill, i hate stalker people
John: *ahem* isen *ahem*
Calid: (;-;)
Blick: nobody obsesses over me
Remi: are you fucking kidding
Sera: remi breaking out that cursing
Remi: i saw this salmonella-haired girl snap a picture of you after gym class and literally drool
John: why are people so crazy about the royals
Sera: idk
Elaine: i saw this one nerd take a burst of 50 photos of seraphina when she had that tiny skirt
Sera: WHAT
Sera: tHAT WAS JUST ONE DAY I OUTGREW MY OTHER ONES AHJFNLJSDNLJKSD
John: we will hunt him down and make him pay
Blick: i saw banana fuck take sooo many pictures of asslo when she wasn't suspended
John: you don't need to write "when she wasn't suspended' we all know dumbass
[7:03 pm]
Isen: im separating the red mnms into another bowl to eat all by myself because ik blyke like the red ones
Blick: wHYYYY
Blick: YOU WILL PAY
John: i hate candy
Sera: so do i
Asslo: i like 100% cacao dark chocolate
John: that shit's as bitter as your fucking personality
Asslo:
Elaine: i like taffy
John: that shit's as hard to eat as you are to be around
Remi: i like all candy, especially gummies
John: gummies are the equivalent of a sticky, useless person
Blick: i like kitkats
John: kitkats are worthless
Sera: hOW DARE YOU
Sera: KITKATS ARE OKAY-ISH
John: chill
John: boba?
Sera: ofc you have that buy one get one free thing
Sera: and you are buying me one and giving me one for free
John: what about me?
Sera: s t a r v e b i t c h
John:
Sera: im kidding but i still want two
John: i can work with that
coming next:
John: eh idk they have some weird power fetish
YOU ARE READING
the shit that goes on at wellston | chatfic
Fanfiction"'ASSLO.'" Remi makes a group chat, but whoooo the UnO cast is NOT easy to deal with. Crack ensues. Achievements: #1 in Jeraphina #1 in Blemi #1 in Asslo #1 in Unordinary #1 in Arlaine #1 in Cecile #1 in John Doe #1 in Jera #1 in Blyke x Remi #12 in...