Lie - Blyke
Calid - Isen
Fok - Arlo
Thirty - Seraphina
Rind - Remi
Thirty: I poured out all of John's hair gel >:3
John: y u do me like dat
Thirty: Because you look 100x hotter without it
John: yeah, but...
John: some guy asked for my signature the other day cuz he thought I looked like a movie star
Rind: I was there
John: you were?
Rind: I was looking for watermelons
Calid: hence, rind
Rind: and I see John beating the everliving shit out of a papaya
Thirty: uh, what now?
John: In my defense, I thought you had to squeeze it to feel its ripeness
Lie: You have to squeeze it
Lie: Not murder it in the middle of a U-Mart
Fok: Is that why I saw some poor employee spritzing yellow shit off the floor
Elaine: Honestly I thought some kid knelt before the porcelain throne
Calid: what in the flippety fucking name of sweet powdered donuts was that monstrosity?!
Elaine: I'm trying out a new expression rather than bleh bleh
John: But bleh bleh's a classic!
Elaine: Bleh bleh to you, johnny boy
Thirty: Lo
Thirty: l
John: wtf
Thirty: soerry
Thirty: Sorry
Fok: "Soerry"? I don't remember Queen Seraphina being this reckless
Thirty: Lmao you sound like my mother
John: What's your mom's #
Thirty: oh hell no
Thirty: i got an A- yesterday you better not call her
John: remember when I gave you a B- on that project
Thirty: perfect sera went and had a mental breakdown in her dorm
Elaine: i remember that
Elaine: I kept showing you your A+s and 100s but you were so hellbent on that B- and drenched your bed in tears
John: I'm sorry sera
Thirty: It's fine, I explained it to the teacher and she gave me most of my points back
John:
John: But we got 92--
Thirty: AND I WANTED A PERFECT SCORE BUT WE WON'T GET THAT, WILL WE?
Lie: seems to me like you're still a bit bent on achieving an impossible standard
Thirty: FUCK YOU
Thirty: FUCK OFF
Thirty: FUCK EVERYTHING
Thirty: I'M SO DONE
John: oop-
John: she smashed her phone the way I do
Calid: Wow, the great and mighty seraphina crumbled
John: she's gonna have your head for saying that
[1 hour and 40 minutes later]
John has added Seraphina to the chat.
Seraphina: I bought a new phone
Seraphina: I will murder all of you in your sleep if you associate me with perfection
Seraphina: Now excuse me while I steal John's hoodie and make him search for it until he begs me to give it back to him
John: WAIT WHAT
John: I don't do this
John: YOU'RE NOT TAKING IT
John: AAAAAAAAAAAAAH
Elaine: I heard scuffling
Fok: Lmao same
Rind: wtf is going on in there
Rind: ELAINE GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE AHHHHH THEY CRASHED THROUGH A WAP
Rind: WALL
Rind: WALL DAMMIT WALL NOT WAP WALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
Elaine: First of all
Elaine: I'm coming you little bitch
Elaine: And second of all
Elaine: bring a bucket and a mop
Fok: Just get over there
Elaine: fiiiine
Calid: OH SHIT
Calid: The hoodie ripped
Lie: If you're there then I'm coming over there too
Calid: They're both fighting each other now
[ten whole minutes later]
Seraphina: owch
Seraphina: my arm is shattered and john looks dead
John: im nrot daed
John: hael emeeee
Seraphina: rename me
John has renamed Seraphina to Thritiy.
Thritiy: wtf john
John: ssssrroy
Thritiy: change me back
John has reset Thritiy's name.
Seraphina: good boy
Elaine: i'll heal u!
coming next:
Rind: Isen made it this time!!
Calid: wait wuh
YOU ARE READING
the shit that goes on at wellston | chatfic
Fanfiction"'ASSLO.'" Remi makes a group chat, but whoooo the UnO cast is NOT easy to deal with. Crack ensues. Achievements: #1 in Jeraphina #1 in Blemi #1 in Asslo #1 in Unordinary #1 in Arlaine #1 in Cecile #1 in John Doe #1 in Jera #1 in Blyke x Remi #12 in...