secrets ↠ demi lovato / 5h

[55]

sitting on the sofa with my laptop and Demi and Naya on either side of me was one of, I think, the most outstanding turning moments in my life up to this point. the cursor hovered over the upload button, my finger in turn resting unsurely on the touchpad.

"you can do it, baby," Demi said softly as she held my right arm, rubbing it soothingly. "you got it."

Naya gently ran her fingers through my hair. "it's okay, mija. we've got your back. we'll always be here for you."

taking a deep, slow breath, I pressed the upload button, holding it until the loading circle had completed and turned into a green tick.

congratulations! your video is now live on youtube!

thanks, bro.

Demi kissed the side of my head, letting her forehead rest on the spot she had kissed. "I'm so proud of you, Lea."

as I looked up from the laptop screen and caught the three of our reflections on the blank TV screen in front of us, suddenly the apprehension and hesitation faded away. as I leaned into Naya's shoulder and had Demi snuggle into my side, I smiled to myself. everything was going to be okay.

---

after the burden of explanation had been lifted from my shoulders, the next month seemed to zoom by really quickly. thanks to the exercises I had been doing, I now could control my legs a lot better. I spent most of my time catching up on the school I had missed (as Demi had instructed), and working on a couple of songs I had started, especially one I had titled The Middle of Starting Over. it was the one I had written a bit of when I was in the old house. Demi and Naya had moved the piano stool away from the piano so I could sit in the wheelchair and play the piano, which was somethiing I wanted to do but never seemed to be able to make time for.

although the video had caused turmoil and drama online, and some pretty nasty things were said ("you shouldn't have lived through the crash!" "you don't deserve Demi!" and the ever so classic "kill yourself"), I was pleasantly surprised with the amount of people who understood, and the people who had taken time to write notes and twitlongers to me and tell me that they also faced the problem of unsupportive parents, and how I had helped them feel better just by letting them know that they weren't alone.

one wintry February morning, as I sat on my bed doing schoolwork, a melody popped into my head. it didn't sound familiar, so I couldn't pin it to a song I heard recently. trying to ignore it, I went back to making notes on chemistry. subconsciously, though, I had started humming it. half an hour later, as soon as I realized this, I gave a disgruntled groan, and tried to ignore it. I opened Spotify and clicked a random song to try and get it out of my mind. the opening notes of Love Me Like You Do faded in, and I tried to put off the tune. it worked for about ten minutes before it wormed its way back into my brain and interrupted the soft notes of The 1975. intrigued, I paused the music, then sat back and concentrated on this weird, reoccuring melody. as I let it play in my mind, I realized that I could link it to the random notes I had been thinking about a couple of days ago. now curious, pushing myself off the bed and easing myself into the wheelchair, I went to the piano in the sitting room. remember how I said I couldn't play an instrument? I had to press about ten different keys before finding the one that matched the first note of this tune, before slowly working the rest out. as I hesitantly played it out loud, I counted the syllables that could fit into this song.

and then it hit me.

scrambling back to my room and snatching my phone off the bed, I opened the notes app and scrolled like crazy, trying to find the note. the lyrics for The Middle of Starting Over. when I found it, I wheeled back to the piano as quickly as I could and played the tune, fitting the words in.