secrets ↠ demi lovato / 5h

[9]

after that, it was live shows.

the first week was terrifying. Demi chose Brave by Sara Bareilles for me, and during rehearsals I messed up a lot. on the fourth try, I missed a cue. Demi bit her lip and stood up from the chair.

"stop, stop, cut the music," she waved at the band. "y'all take ten minutes, we're gonna have a break, okay?"

the band left the room to go get water or whatever.

"hey," Demi bent down to look at me. "you okay?"

"mmm," I nodded, looking past her at a fixed point. she gently tilted my chin towards her so we made eye contact.

"something's wrong, Lea," she said softly. "I'd rather you tell me. is anything happening at home? is anyone being mean at the contestants' mansion? I'll kill whoev-"

"no," I told her. "I'm just really nervous." and it was true. the thought of Demi not being able to save me from eliminations scared me, and I was about to find out if the general public liked me.

"oh, sweetie," Demi sat down on the chair and pulled up another plastic chair for me to sit on. "let me tell you what I love about your voice, okay?"

"okay."

"first, your pitch. you are always pitch perfect - it's like you never go too high or too low. you know what your range is, and you make it work.

second, your high notes. they're not painful to listen to, and they're sharp. they don't wobble all over the place. you pick a note, and you stay there.

third, your voice changes. when you sing softer parts of a song, like a sweeter part, your voice is like damn marshmallows. but when you have a fierce part, and the sass comes out, oh girl. it turns into this laser sharp tone that practically fills the room.

so, darling, right now the issues you're having isn't pitch. you're making this song work with your range, and I'm suspecting that the overthinking is making you lose cues and forget lyrics. and is there anything you wanna change? I feel like the first verse and chorus should be more of a softer tone, then at the end you can bring out your killer high notes. yeah?"

I was speechless. honestly. Demi's detailed analysis of my voice was enough to make my life complete.

"hey, you okay?" Demi asked gently.

"yeah," I shook out of my slight stupor. "I got it."

"great," Demi hugged me. as the band slowly began returning to the room, she clapped her hands and helped me up from the chair, then twirling me over to the microphone.

"lets get to work with that marshmallow voice of yours, sweet girl."

------

after that performance, things got a little easier.

I wasn't eliminated - four people went home, making us the Top 12. the people who went home were Joseph and Ellie from Paulina, Jennifer from Kelly and Saskia from Demi.

the next week, I sang The Scientist by Coldplay.

two people had to go to make us the Top 10. the people who went home were David and Callum from Kelly.

after that, Demi chose Burn by Ellie Goulding.

Simon said he didn't like the arrangement, since we had slowed it down.

I was so scared I would get voted off, and to top it all off, there was a huge rumor going around that I was only being complimented and kept in the competition because of favoritism. after the show, when we were heading back to the mansions, I began to cry.

"Lea?"

crap.

"mmm?" I kept my head down and my lips pursed.

"Lea, sweetie?" Demi took my hand gently. "Look at me, darling."

I didn't. we kept walking. I felt Demi steer me to the side of the house slowly. once we were away from the other contestants, she stopped and bent down in front of me.

"Lea," she whispered, tilting my head up. there was nowhere to hide the mascara trails running down my cheeks. she stared at me for a while, then slowly stretched our her hands. "I'm gonna give you a hug, okay?"

I nodded before dissolving into tears again and collapsing into her arms.

see, the thing about Demi's hugs is that they're different. ever since she found out that sudden human contact causes me to shut down and have panic attacks, she's always been gentler when she hugs or takes my hand. apart from the accidental sudden squeeze, she's been amazing with it.

and, she doesn't treat me like I'm going to explode anytime. she doesn't throw her hands around me like she does with other people, but she knows how to do all these things so easily that it's almost natural.

"Lea, I need to tell you something, okay?" Demi asked as she released me.

"okay."

she chewed her lip. "I know there's been a bit of mess on the Internet lately."

"mmm."

"you've seen it, haven't you?"

I kept quiet. Demi sighed softly and picked up my hand, tracing the palm lines.

"look, Lea. I might seem like the most hypocritical or biased person in the world, and I'm trusting you not to go around telling people I said this, okay?"

I nodded, wiping the tear tracks off. Demi took my hand away.

"don't do that, you'll get mascara in your eyes.
Lea, what they said is true in the fact that I like you a lot. these issues that we're working through don't affect my judgement at all, but in all honesty, you ARE one of the strongest in the competition. we definitely aren't rigging the statistics, Simon's constantly checking up on that. if you do have to go home, sweet girl, I'll make sure that you won't have to go back to any sort of abusive lifestyle, do you hear me?"

I stared at her for a while.

"hey, don't cry." I hadn't even noticed I had began to cry again.

"thank you," I shyly reached up to hug her.

"you're welcome, baby girl."

----

oh, and spoiler alert: I made it through to the Top 8.

-------------------------------------------------

A/N:

sorry about the ending, I was rushing it for today ><

but here's some explanation about Lea's anxiety and Demi's promise to her. =]

#nowplaying:
Better Together EP - Fifth Harmony
Sorry - Naya Rivera

xoxo