secrets ↠ demi lovato / 5h

[61]

Sunday.

"morning, Lea," Taylor greeted cheerfully as I stepped out of my room and into the kitchen at about 9 the next morning.

"morning," I yawned. I hadn't slept til about 3 in the morning, constantly tossing and turning, thinking about what I'd confessed to Taylor last night.

"cookies?" Taylor offered, putting some mixture into little balls on a baking tray. "I'm adding chocolate chips. there's already a first batch in the oven so we can have them in, like two minutes."

"sure," I said, going round to help. "thanks, Taylor."

"no problem. still thinking about that person?" Taylor asked as she poured some chocolate chips into the batter and mixed it in. "you look troubled."

"mmm," I said incoherently. "kinda."

"hey, don't force the feelings," she told me. "sleep on it. like you said, it could be a phase. just remember that you know yourself best, okay? no one else knows you better than you do."

"I wasn't- like, I wasn't ready to come to terms with it," I said. "like I knew that there was always something special about them but I never pegged it to me liking them... like that. and then when the... thing happened, it scared me because I didn't want to come to terms with knowing that I liked this person. I wanted to just ignore it."

"the thing," Taylor said slowly.

"yeah," I said, recalling the intensity of the moment. the music, the dancing, the screaming fans and the flashing lights. "I'm not- I don't think- mmm, i don't think I wanna talk about it."

Taylor laughed a little, slipping another ball of batter onto the tray. "don't worry, Lea. it's okay."

I shot her an apologetic smile. "sorry."

she waved her hand dismissively. "don't apologize. you have every right to control what you want to talk about."

we were quiet for a while, Taylor going round to check on the first batch of cookies in the oven, before I looked up at the tall woman standing by the kitchen counter.

"Taylor?"

"yes?"

"if 15 year old me told 8 year old me that she was going to be standing in the legendary kitchen of Taylor Swift when she's 15, 8 year old me would've never believed it. and I honestly can't really fathom that this is real. thank you so much for making my childhood dreams real."

Taylor smiled lightly. "you're so cute, Lea. it was so nice to have you over. initially I was a little hesitant inviting you over, because I haven't spoken to Demi for a long time. but then I figured since that you guys were in New York, it would be cool to get to talk to Demi again and get to know you and Naya."

"Naya's in Greece with her family," I said. "that's why she didn't come. but we might be leaving New York soon."

"what? " Taylor said, shocked, but still taking out the tray of fresh cookies from the oven. "why are you guys leaving?"

I explained the time the fans came to our house, and how it wasn't good for Demi and I because of our anxiety. "and, this is Naya's house, but Demi's missing home," I finished.

Taylor nodded thoughtfully. "that makes sense. I mean, if it's better for you and Demi's health, I wouldn't see why not."

we carried our plates of cookies to the airy dining room where the sunlight was streaming in through the large picture windows.