secrets ↠ demi lovato / 5h

[65]

Lauren's POV

after Camila left, I moved into her spot, which was next to Lea. when the four girls weren't looking, I watched them as they danced and sang along to the songs. although each of the girls was fascinating to watch in their own special ways, something about Lea drew my eye.

something about her captured me. I couldn't quite pinpoint exactly what it was, but she just made my heart race and caused me to push my hair back more than I usually did. none of the other girls caused this kind of reaction from me.

except maybe Camila.

--

earlier this afternoon:

"I'm taking Camila to the bathroom," Ally said. "so she doesn't get lost."

Normani and I laughed. it was funny because the last venue we were at, we nearly had to go onstage late because Camila had gone off in search for a bathroom and she lost her way.

Dinah and Lea had gone off and Normani said that they were exploring. I wondered why we weren't going together, but I shrugged it off. Lea reminded Dinah a bit of her siblings at home, so I figured that Dinah might've wanted to spend some time with her.

"Lauren?" Normani said after the two girls left, Camila protesting about being taken to the bathroom like a little kid.

"yeah?"

Normani sat down onto one of the small couches, crossing her right leg over her left and resting her chin onto the palm of her hand. "can I ask you something?"

oh, great. that question never failed to make me scared.

"sure, Mani," I said as nonchalantly as I could, continuing to wind the cord of my phone charger around my fingers as I tried to continue packing my things up. my hands had already involuntarily started shaking, which made me mess up the wire.

"so... you and Camila... there's something going on, isn't there?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," I retorted, pretending to continue to tidy my things. maybe my response was too quick for it not to be suspicious.

"mmhm, sure, definitely." Normani moved to rest her chin on the arm of the sofa as she watched me. "Lauren..."

"look, I don't want to talk about it," I said a little too snappily, trying to control my breathing. yes, I liked Camila. I liked her too much for it to be just friends. but I'd realized that I was starting to feel the same about Lea. at first I'd just thought that I missed her, like the rest of the girls did, since we were gone for so long. but then, I started thinking about her like how I think about Camila, and it was f---ing me up. it was horrible. although no one knew that I liked both of them at the same time, I still felt exposed, and like I was cheating on both of them at once. I hated it.

"sorry," I said, exhaling slowly. "I didn't mean to snap."

"it's okay," Normani said to me. "I didn't mean to push so hard, either. I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable."

"it's okay," I said, finally turning to face her. "it's fine."

"do you know if Lea is..."

"she's straight," I finished her sentence. "why?"

Normani rubbed her hand on her cheek slowly, thinking.

"Camila?" she asked.

I shrugged. "why would I know anything more than you? as far as I'm concerned, she's into guys." I zipped my purse up a little too fiercely for me to be 'okay'. I reached up to rub my temples, trying to calm myself down. if I didn't stop acting like this, Normani would definitely find out that there was something.