secrets ↠ demi lovato / 5h

[57]

the day Naya flew off to Greece with her mom for a family vacation, Demi received a call that Maddie had been having back pains that were related to her spine. because of this, she'd had to go in for multiple doctor visits, and Demi was very worried. Maddie had tried to downplay it a bit to ease her older sister, but on the phone Dianna had told us the truth. Maddie tried to assure us that she'd be fine and everything was okay, but Demi still worried. Demi had started going to a studio in New York to start work on her fifth album, so she had concerns about that too.

it was a Wednesday just after I had finished an episode of PLL, and Demi was out at the studio, when something happened. one of the security who worked at our apartment called the intercom, asking, "good afternoon, Miss. this is Gary. are you expecting visitors?"

"hello Gary, and no," I said. I was home alone and so had to be more cautious than I usually was. "who's it?" maybe it was a surprise Demi had forgotten about.

"there's a group of teenaged girls, seven of them. one of them goes by the name Jessica, she has curly short brown hair. do you know of her?"

I racked my brains. "no... is there any other way of identifying her?" maybe I hadn't seen her in a long time... did I know any Jessicas?

a short pause, then he returned. "she said to tell you that her Twitter name is reflectionxlea."

oh my GOD. fans. "n-no. I don't know her. and I doubt I'd know the other girls too. Gary, I think these are fans. I'd really like it if you could convince them that... like, I don't know. just don't let them up, please." I'd never even seen her in my mentions.

"of course. sorry to scare you, Lea. we'll make sure that they won't get up to your place."

"that's okay," I said, trying to hold my voice together. "thanks for letting me know."

"no problem. have a good afternoon, Miss."

tw // anxiety, self harm mention

I hung up, shaking. how did fans know where we stayed? that was going to be dangerous for me and Demi and Naya. what if the girls waiting downstairs somehow overrode the security system and found their way up? I wouldn't handle it well. I crept to the front door and locked it one more time. then I ran to my room and locked myself in. crawling under my blankets, I curled up into a little ball and willed myself not to cry. I dug my nails into my thigh, wincing as they dug into the skin, but pushing them further. the pain pulled me back into focus, but not for long. if I didn't speak to someone now, I wasn't sure if I'd be able to hold on. I couldn't call Naya because she was probably asleep because of timezones and being tired from travelling and I didn't want to call Demi because she was working, already worried about Maddie and stressed. I sat on my bed, clenching my pillow tight. over and over again, one name presented itself in my mind.

Lauren.

before I could think about it, I had already dialed her number off by heart and my phone was pressed against my ear. a million bad situations dashed through my mind. what if she was rehearsing onstage? talking to the manager? in an emergency? in trouble? not feeling well? not okay in general? I looked at the clock. she wouldn't be onstage yet... I hope. what if she wa-

"hello?"

"Lo," I whimpered, my voice cracking. "help.."

"oh my god," she said. "hang on. wait. guys, I'm gonna be taking a call outside," she called, presumably to the other girls, before I heard a door shut and she returned to the phone. "Lea, Lea, shhh, are you okay?"

at the sound of her care and concern, the two things that I needed right now, I burst into fresh tears. her voice provided some sort of comfort and security. "n-no," I confessed. "I'm not okay, Lolo."