secrets ↠ demi lovato / 5h

[10]

tw // suicide, self harm

I was curled up on the couch next to Brooke and Marie with the other contestants watching The Hunger Games again, when my phone started buzzing. when I looked at it, my brow furrowed in confusion.

my mom never called me. she hasn't checked up on me since I joined the X Factor, so why would she now? something must have happened.

"hold on," I whispered to Brooke, who had her head buried in my shoulder. "I gotta take this call."

"no," she automatically clung tighter. "they're gonna kill Rue!"

"Brooke, my mom's calling. something happened. you grab Marie now okay?" I reasoned.

Brooke let go and as soon as I stood up, she latched onto Marie like a koala. I ran out of the room.

"hello?" I picked up as soon as I got out into the kitchen.

"Lea, it's your mother."

"yes, Mom."

"when was the last time you spoke to Katelyn?"

"um, yesterday?"

"what did she say?"

"she called to say she loved me and she was proud of me and I should keep fighting. and I shouldn't give up. why?" I was getting an increasingly bad feeling in my stomach.

"well...."

something was seriously wrong. my mom never sounded unsure, but now she sounded different. almost... vulnerable.

"mom, what's happened?"

the next thing she said brought my world crashing down; it made me grip the kitchen counter so hard that my knuckles turned white. it changed my life in the five seconds it took for her to say it.

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I tried to keep my crying quiet, but it attracted Marie, who came running in.

"what happened?!" she dropped to her knees and pried the phone from my deathly grasp. when I didn't answer, but curled up into a fetal position and tried to swat her away, she screamed, "TOBIAS!!!!!!!!"

he practically flew into the kitchen. his face turned white when he saw me. "what happened?!"

"get Demi! now!" Marie ordered. he turned and bolted.

Brooke came in. upon seeing me, she grabbed a glass and filled it with water. Marie sat next to me with her arm around my shoulders as my sobs reduced to hiccups and whimpers. Brooke gave me the glass and I drank from it shakily.

Sephy came in quietly. she sat on my other side and took my hand gently. Brooke sat opposite us, her back against the cupboard.

my phone buzzed once. "shall I read it?" Brooke asked. I nodded. she picked up the slim device and read aloud:

call when you're ready. Mom.

I settled the glass of water down on the tiled floor as I started shaking again. this time, though, it wasn't crying. no; it was an attack.

again, everything was caving in and I couldn't think straight. I whimpered and shut my eyes.

"Lea," a clear, sharp voice pierced the haze. I felt someone picking up my hand and placing it on something flat. someone's shoulder. Marie's.

"I need you to match this breathing, okay?" I recognized Brooke's calming voice. "open your eyes," she instructed. "look at my eyes, okay?" I complied, although I had to wipe tears away occasionally.

I felt Marie taking off my jacket. I instinctively clung tighter.

they were going to see the scars.

"Lea, you have to take off the jacket okay? you'll start burning up," Marie reasoned.

that was true. I'd gotten a couple of fevers from exerting so much energy during a panic and keeping a jacket on. Marie was reasonable, yet I refused to listen to her over and over again. instead, I started panicking.

just as Marie was about to protest, Brooke placed a hand on her shoulder and leant over to whisper something in her ear. Marie nodded and let go.

footsteps. Demi sprinted into the kitchen, closely followed by Tobias, both out of breath from running.

Demi fell to her knees and gently pulled me towards her.

"you guys..." she said hesitantly to the four people standing in the kitchen- Sephy, Brooke, Marie and Tobias.

"we'll let you guys have some time but if you need anything just yell, okay?" Brooke grabbed Tobias and Marie and steered them out of the kitchen.

Demi sat on the floor opposite me, taking both my hands into hers.

"Lea, honey, what's wrong?" she asked, tugging off my jacket. I let her. she'd seen the scars anyway.

"I can't say it," I croaked out.

"why not, sweetie?"

"be-because it'll seem r-r-real," I hiccuped.

Demi rubbed circles on my back soothingly. it was quiet for a while, but it wasn't an awkward silence. it was comfortable, and calmed me down.

"Lea, can you tell me please?" Demi asked again quietly.

I took a deep breath. "well..."

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A/N:

I'm sorry for the cliffhanger x]

next update: Thursday - Saturday

xoxo