OPEN YOUR EYES (BLIND I) - MUSIQ SERIES PART 2

39. DOUBTS

As the trainees and staff tidied up and went back home, they all were discussing the performances excitedly. As they had not seen or heard anything -except for Juiyu and Eunae- until that day, they had a thousand questions and comments to make, so they wasted no time and talked about it in the bus.

"Why are you so quiet, Heejin?" Iku asked her, as they were sitting next to each other. "Are you okay?"

"What? Oh, yes, sorry. I'm fine, don't worry," Heejin assured her. "Just tired."

Although she was indeed tired, she had dozed off looking at Axel, who was at the front of the bus with other staff members. They had even set cameras inside the bus, and they were wearing the microphones, so she could not say anything to him. That was how it always was. The small moment they had had right before the Breakthrough stage had just been merely coincidental.

She also thought about her family, especially Min. They had just told her about being non-binary and how they were struggling to come to terms with it, yet she could not be there for Min when they needed it the most. It had not been long since the program had started, but she was starting to realise the loneliness that came with it. No contact with people outside, fake relationships with some of the girls and having a boyfriend she could only talk to using a dumb trick was not exactly the best thing.

"Are you nervous about the results or something?" Xia asked her. "You are way too quiet. You'd usually comment on our performances and all."

"Sorry..." she said running her fingers through her hair frustratedly. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. If there is anything wrong you know you can tell me, right? I know we have been kind of awkward for the last few months and I'm sorry about that. I hope we can go back to square one."

Although it took her aback, Heejin did not hesitate one second to agree with it. Although she was by far closest to Juiyu and Eunae, Zia and Xia had been like her older sisters on many occasions, especially during evaluations in which she had a tough time as the leader. Zia had not really stopped talking to her, but Xia had definitely built a wall between them, so she was glad she had taken it down.

Deciding to open up about it slightly, Heejin pointed with her head towards Axel and Xia looked at her confused.

"No talking," Heejin tried to explain without making it obvious. "It's driving me crazy."

"Meet me tonight at the den's bathroom," Xia quickly told her.

It did not take more than a second for Heejin to realise why she had done that. When inside the bedrooms they did not have to wear their microphones because they already had some around the room, so night-time was a safe bet in terms of sound. When it came to video, however, other than the bathrooms from their rooms, the only other place without cameras was the bathroom at the trainee's den, so it was the safest option for them. The bedroom ones could work too, but they would risk being heard.

To not be too suspicious, Heejin spent the rest of the trip commenting on the other girls' performances and what she had liked most. Being a perfectionist, she also saw some things that could have been improved -both on their performances and hers- but she did not talk about that and instead just gave some encouraging words for the rest, which was what they wanted, needed and, most importantly, deserved.

As soon as they arrived at the filming site, the girls ran to the trainee's den. That time they were asked to gather around the main area and sit on the couches there instead of going to the assembly hall, so they waited impatiently for Axel or any staff member to tell them the results while looking at the big screen in front of them with the logo of their program.