Toxicity |18+|

Chapter forty two : We're toxic again.

Maya.

I've thought about it long and hard. I think it is time that I leave. It's hard since I know what effect it'll have on Dante's mental health and I don't want to hurt him. However, I need to figure out how to get my memories back without feeling claustrophobic because of Dante. I'm sure that I loved him but nothing is going to go back if he chokes me up every time he tries to force the memories out of me.

We've tried everything, looking at pictures and videos, visited locations like where we met or where we had our first fight. Anything. But nothing came back. I know it seems like I'm not trying, especially now that I want to leave, but I am. I have been trying so hard, but I feel left out in my own life, especially since my life apparently has changed so much since I moved to New York. We even tried therapy, not just for me and Dante, but also with everyone else. But I just can't seem to remember anything.

I'm not leaving forever, I couldn't do that to Dante or this baby. I'll just be gone for a couple of months. How I'll explain my leaving to Dante when I return is not my problem right now. However, I will tell Yasmin and Hailey about it.

"So, you wanted to discuss something serious?" Yasmin asked and bring her teacup to her mouth. Hailey is here too, she walks over to the dining table with a cup of coffee in her hand.

"I know both of you will probably talk me out of it, but I am leaving for a while," As soon as he words the words come out of my mouth, Haley rolls her eyes, and Yasmin chuckles. I frown.

"What?" I ask them. They look at each other for a short moment and then look back at me seriously. "Did you think I was kidding?" they nod.

"No listen, guys, I know..."

"You can't leave Dante, Maya..." Hailey interrupts me so my head shoots to her. "Leaving is selfish, if not because of your memories that will slow down with coming back, then for the baby you're about to have."

"Hailey, the baby won't come for at least another six months and I'll be back before that. Whether my memories will be back before that or not, I would never take away Dante's chance of meeting his child," I tell them. I understand why they would think that this is a selfish situation but, they don't understand my perspective. I have been beating myself up for the past month, trying so hard to get the memories back, to where I had to cry myself to sleep because I am hurting everyone, especially my sister and Dante. Dante just expresses his hurt in anger and my sister hides from me.

"I just..." Yasmin says. "I thought you'd be there when I give birth," her tone sounds sad. I haven't even thought about the fact that I won't be here when she gives birth. I feel bad for her and I don't know what to say at this point.

"Yasmin..."

"Maya, I know you don't know this but, you have changed a lot since you woke up and I get it, waking up from a coma is hard, but, I'm having a baby and I need my best friend, will you please think about it?" She pleads. I nod, telling her I'll think about it, knowing that I won't. I have already made up my mind about this. I want to be there for Yasmin, I do, and it makes me selfish that I am leaving, I understand that.

"Yasmin, if I decide to leave I need you to know that I'll come to visit as much as I can before I'm back completely," I assure her. "But, I will give it some thought, okay?"

✧༺♥༻✧

I'm back in Dante's house. He's on the couch on his laptop with no shirt, grey sweatpants, and black glasses on. He is really muscled. Like really muscled. I awkwardly look around until he turns his head and sees me.

"You ready for your doctor's appointment tomorrow?" He asks and I nod slowly. "Don't be so awkward, sit down."

I sit down and look at his laptop.