Toxicity |18+|

Chapter fifty one : A new chapter.

Maya.

2 months later.

I feel empty. Lost. Confused. Angry. Depressed. Scared. Alone.

I don't know what to do anymore. It all happened so fast. I don't know what to do anymore. Do I take over? Do I run? I don't know. Both of my options don't seem great however since this is the mafia I have to pick one, my final choice deciding my destiny forever.

I can't believe he is gone. He really is gone. With tears in my eyes, I stand on the stage. Does it all even matter? Telling everyone how much I love Dante? It doesn't. It won't bring him back but for the sake of everyone, I need to do this. Twenty minutes ago, I stood at my fiancé's grave.

Dante Lacoste. A leader, A fighter, A son, A father, A brother, A future husband.

That's what it said on the gravestone. Carved in italics. He's dead. His body, in a suit, is resting six feet below us all.

He told me it wouldn't happen. But it did. I remember waking up, I fed and changed Leah, and played with her a little bit. I heard a knock on the door and so I went to check who it was. I put Leah down in her dining chair because I was going to have breakfast.

When I opened the door, everything around me froze. The maid found me, fainted on the floor. His head was on the porch. Just his head. It was pale, so damn pale. I woke up in the house and the moment I opened my eyes—I mean, the way everyone looked at me said it all—I lost him. He wasn't here anymore.

"Hello everybody," my voice trembles. "I-me- I'm sorry,"

I look at Xavier, he nods, assuring me that I can do this.

I inhale and let out a trembled breath.

"Th-thank you all for coming. Uhm..." I choke up as the tears fill in my eyes. "Before coming here I checked my phone, to see if—you know if Dante left me anything before he...before he passed. He left me something. He said uh...he said; Hi—Hi darling, if I come back from work will you watch cocomelon with me and Leah, I haven't been around as much because of work and I miss you..."

Tears well up in my eyes and run over my cheeks. I can't do this. I can't just stand here and talk about the last thing he ever said to me.

"I love you, you know that, he said," Xavier continues. Xavier heard the voicemail because he was there with me. "I need you to know that I'll always love you, I'm sorry if I'm too occupied sometimes. Anyway, I'll see you when I get home, tell Leah her daddy loves her, okay see you later, mi amor."

I let out a sob. One that I cannot stop. My heart hurts. Leah said her first word two days ago. It was Dada. Not Mama, it was Dada. She knew something was off. She has been quieter ever since. She has watched me cry and she responds to it. I try not to cry around her because I don't want her to become dull. After all, she watches her mommy cry whenever she's happy. She just looks so much like him. She has his eyes. The eyes I fell in love with.

Xavier takes me away from everyone.

"I'm taking you home so you can rest," He tells me.

"I don't need to rest, I need to take care of Leah," I sniff. "Can you just take us home?"

"No. You haven't slept in days, Yasmin and I will take care of Leah for a bit." He says. I try to argue with him but he doesn't let me have a word in. "This is not up for discussion."

I don't say anything as I know they are just trying to take care of me. But it all doesn't seem to matter. I have been so focused on the loss of Dante and taking care of Leah that I haven't been taking care of myself. I don't care, it doesn't seem important. Everyone has been trying to be there for me but I don't want them to I want them to focus on their way of healing, not mine. I want them there but I don't want them near me. I have been pushing everyone out except for my daughter.