mommy's girl

46

Billie~

The voices started to come back, how? I have no idea. But their back. And it's gotten to this point where they won't go away. I've tried everything.

But I hadn't told anyone. How could I?

They are worse around my family to, and I don't think Miley believes me. Lately at night I've walked out of the house and found someone to kill.

Have it worked? No.

They're even worse now. And I think the only way to get them to disappear, is if I do it. Kill my family. My mom has been on my nerves recently, and she can't even listen to what I'm saying. It like she doesn't want to hear me, but would rather have her own assumptions.

My dad. I don't know actually. He works a lot, and I know he works with Miley on whatever project. So I don't notice him so much, but when I do the voices are worse and worse.

Finneas always tries to talk to me, and it's fucking annoying. If I got the change I would take him first. What the fuck is happening to me. He's my best friend for fucks sake.

I feel like Drew knows something, something she doesn't talk about. But she definitely knows something, and it's pretty obvious.

Zoe is as clueless as always, the voices aren't so bad when I'm with her. But they are still there. They are always there. It's like I'm never going to get them away. Like the only way to make it go quiet is if they're gone. All of them. Gone.

But I couldn't do that.

Or I think I couldn't.

I don't want to.

But sometimes I think I have to.

Not just sometimes.

All times.

But I don't want to.

Or maybe I do want to.

Then my mom wouldn't freak out all the time.

Finneas would stop being so annoying.

And the others would be gone forever.

They lied to me all this time.

Maybe I need revenge.

So they know they shouldn't have lied.

So they know we once could have been a happy family.

But we never will because they lied.

They lied all this time.

Maybe they are hiding something else.

Something they don't want to say.

I could get it out of them.

I will get it out of them.

Will I?

Yes the fuck I will.

Those bitches will suffer.

But they are my family.

Sometimes I hate family's.

Or most of the times.

Why are they still alive?

Billie could you really do this?

Yes.

But do I want to?

No.

Yes.

I kinda do.

If that's the only way the voices will be gone.

Maybe I have to then.

To get them to disappear.

Then the voices and the people who lied to me will be gone.

Gone forever.

I don't even want to call them my family.

Why would I want to call them my family.

I have what I need.

But what would Miley say?

Would she be mad at me?

Or would she be impressed?

Why would she be impressed though?

Maybe because if I did this I would have killed the people that was closest to me.

Someone who meant a lot to me before.

Right now I hate those people.

I just want them away.

I want them gone.

I want them to scream for mercy.

I want them to know what they did wrong.

I want them to know that I don't care about them.

I don't care that they are my family.

I fucking hate them.

They wasn't home most of the time ether.

They were probably on some mission so they left a six year old child home alone for days.

And they never cared about that.

And they even ignored me after.

They lied to me this whole time.

Maybe if I knew I wouldn't be bullied.

Maybe if they told me my childhood would have been better.

Maybe if they told me I didn't have to join my first gang with a man who mentally and physically abused me.

If they had just told me my life would have been better.

I wouldn't have had the trauma I have.

I would have been better.

Maybe my mental health would have been better.

Maybe then I knew why they always were gone.

Why we always moved houses.

I'm gonna make them pay.

They are gonna regret what they did.

I will make sure of it.

I want them gone as soon as possible.

I want them dead.