Forever Tied to you

37

Sophie

I've lost count of how long I've been sat here crying. I think I've been here since I got back from the store? I'm not sure.

I hit the Walgreens early this morning after Mason left for work. I wanted to put it all behind me. I even decided to take the tests In the store bathroom so I could throw them away before I left without having to worry about Mason seeing them.

Unfortunately when the little tests came up positive, I slipped them into my pocket and crept outside, where no one knew I was on the verge of a complete breakdown. I wasn't done with school, with experiencing the world and I knew it made me selfish but I really didn't feel ready to be a parent.

Mason and I still didn't know each other that well, I mean we had learnt the small things and I knew about his ex, but in the grand scheme of things we knew very little.

"Soph?" His voice startled me and terrified me at the same time.

I wasn't afraid of Mason, but I was scared of his reaction. I mean we hadn't been on the best speaking terms lately and given his reluctance to be in a relationship I didn't think the whole 'I'm pregnant' was going to go well.

That alone set off another wave of tears as my blurry eyes focused on the tests in between my crossed legs. I didn't know what to do, but I did know that no matter what, I no longer had just myself to think about.

I felt Mason sit beside me as his hand began to rub my back. His presence both the cause of my anxiety and also the cure. I couldn't lie to him though. He deserved to know and whatever transpired after that, I would figure it out.

"Sophie, what's wrong?" He asked as I shook my head and reached down to grab the two tests sitting between my legs.

"Promise you won't hate me?" I was half sobbing now.

"I could never hate you Soph, I need to explain some things but I wouldn't ever hate you. This last week has been hell on me too, and I'll explain it all, but first I need to know what's going on." He spoke calmly, oblivious to the bomb I was about to let off.

"You say that now." I mumbled.

"Soph, you really have no idea. I lo-"

"I'm pregnant Mason." I cut him off and almost instantly his hand stilled on my back.

There was a few minutes of silence that followed and I couldn't stand it. I didn't expect him to be happy about it, honestly I don't know what I expected but it wasn't silence.

It was all too much and I suddenly got hit with another wave of nausea. I left the tests on the floor and quickly got up, dashing into the bathroom just in time to hurl what little food I had eaten today into the toilet.

It was all just a huge mess.

We had an arrangement. We would be married for a while, stay friends and I would move on with my life and he would run his empire of security. Neither of us agreed to having kids or anything remotely close to it.

When I was finally done dry heaving I rinsed out my mouth and splashed some water on my face, then I opened the door and walked back into the bedroom.

Mason was now sitting on the edge of the bed with the pregnancy tests in his hand. The look of fear on his face almost broke the little strength I had mustered in the bathroom.

"We need to talk Soph." He patted the bed beside him.

I couldn't speak so instead I nodded and slowly perched on the edge of the bed beside him.

"I.." I started but he cut me off, placing his hand on top of mine, I assumed to stop them shaking.

"Don't, don't apologize because this isn't something that you were solely responsible for. I guess we should start with what we are going to do?" He said and all I could do was shrug in response. "What do you want to do? I don't want to pressure you into anything?"

"I ... I don't ... I don't know." I stuttered. "I never thought about having kids, especially now. I'm not even done with school, but at the same time I don't think I could live with myself if I got rid of it." I admitted.

"Well, I know this wasn't planned, and honestly I had never considered having kids right now either." He turned my hand over and entwined his fingers in mine. "But I'm not going to leave you to figure it out on your own. I'll help you and support you in whatever you decide."

"If... if I keep it.." I started unsure if I really wanted the answer to the next question in my head. "If I keep it, you won't be upset?"

"Sophie, look, it's going to take some adjustment and wrapping my head around, but whatever you want to do I'll be right there with you. If it's any consolation, I think you'll be a great mother."

"I don't want you to resent me later." I mumbled.

"I won't." He reached up and turned my face to his. "I know I haven't been fair to you lately, but I'm going to explain it all to you, I promise.  I care about you Soph, I promised to protect you and that includes our child if that's what you want."

The sincerity in his eyes matched the tenderness of his words and I couldn't help it, the tears flooded my eyes and as they fell Mason pulled me close into his chest and just held me there.

"It's going to be okay, shhhh. You've got me Soph, I'll be here no matter what." He whispered as I let my tears fall.

His reaction wasn't what I had expected but in a strange way it was so much better. It made the decision so much clearer.

"I think I want to keep it." I sniffled into his shirt.

"Then my lovely wife," his voice held a hint of amusement, "I guess we are going to be parents."