Forever Tied to you

40

Mason

I have never had the type of relationship where I wanted to rush home at the end of the day. When I was with Sierra things were always so fast paced and fun, distracting us from the things that we weren't getting from each other.

Intimacy.

True intimacy, the kind where the smallest things, like a smile or a laugh can instantly distract you from chaos at the office, or the understanding that they may not know what you are experiencing but will support you nonetheless.

That's what Sophie and I share that makes this the one thing I never want to give up. I want her to be my forever, and when the time is right and all this drama with Sierras dad is over, I want us to get remarried or renew our vows, something to show her that what is between us is real and no longer part of that deal we made.

It's been seven months now since we found out she was pregnant and I still haven't worked up the courage to tell her how I really feel- that I am in love with her. I thought I was going to after the first ultrasound when I heard that little heartbeat that made the world seem so much bigger.

I didn't though, and I've been stuck in a stalemate of finding the right way to tell her ever since. Every time I think about saying those words something happens, or I freeze and they don't come out.

We opted not to have a baby shower, my mother and some of my cousins being the only people aside from her parents who know about the pregnancy. It was safer for Sophie and our little nugget this way. The last thing we needed was Sierra or her father catching wind of it and harming either of them.

Fortunately for us, Sophie was also carrying small, and since it was now winter, a baggy hoodie concealed her tiny bump so that to anyone passing by she didn't look pregnant. Lucky for her that meant I hadn't pushed her into staying home yet, even though she seemed to stay in most of the time anyway.

It was a little odd, but she didn't like to go anywhere by herself. She mostly ordered groceries in, or she would recruit my mother or hers to go with her. Thankfully, Stevens wife came over a lot with the kids to keep her company since we had a large fenced yard the toddler could run around in.

"I just think it's better if someone is with me. We still don't know if we are being watched and it's easier to go buying baby stuff with someone who has kids." She took a sip of her water as she sternly eyeballed me.

"They don't know anything Soph. If they did I would have already been given an ultimatum by now, I just don't see why asking you to walk two blocks for a smoothie you wanted, turned into a fight for no reason." I threw my hand up, completely bewildered by this whole conversation.

"I just don't want to be out on my own." She yelled as my frustration levels hit a high, not because I wanted her to be wandering the streets, but because I was worried that she was falling into some hidden cabin fever depression.

"Why not?" I half yelled, noticing how she flinched at the raise in my voice.

"Because, I'm not safe Mason." She screamed before breaking into a sob that had her crouching to the floor and covering her face in her hands.

I pushed my anger aside and crouched beside her, pulling her into my chest. I hadn't guessed that she would feel unsafe since we were no longer being hounded and I guess I never considered how the whole situation made her feel.

"I promise," I stroked the side of her face, "I will never let anyone hurt you Sophie. You have plenty of time to give birth before they start snooping around and by then it will be too late. Sierra is a lot of things, but she's not a home wrecker, unless it's her own home." I tried to be calm, but her head shaking under my hand was telling me that Sierra wasn't the only issue.

"It's not that." Her sniffling mumbled into the fabric of my shirt.

"Sophie talk to me, please." My voice cracked at the end. .

She nodded and together we got up off the floor and went to the living room. Sophie sat away from me, distracting herself with her lap. It was one of the signs she was nervous about something and as a result, I found myself also slightly on edge for what she was about to say.

"The day you let me look in one of your work folders." She began as I tried to just let her say whatever it was she needed to say.

"The stalker?" She nodded my answer.

"Remember you thought I was acting weird? It's because I know the guy who was stalking her." She took a deep, shaky breath as a fresh wave of tears fell down her face.

"How do you know him Soph?" I asked, treading lightly so that she wouldn't shut me out.

"He went to my college. I was a freshman, living in the dorms and he was a sophomore." I didn't speak this time, letting her explain. "We didn't have any classes together but we became sort of mutual friends through my roommate. She knew him from high school and he hung out with us a lot. At first I thought he was my friend, but then I came home one night and my roommate wasn't there, he was."

I didn't need her to explain any more. I could tell by the look on her face that she was terrified. Still I let her get out her story, every last cell in my body wanting to kill that guy with my own hands upon hearing what he did to her.

He was the reason she was so cautious about every little thing, the reason why raised voices and sudden moves had her jumping out of her skin. He had stolen her innocent carefree personality and discarded it like trash.

I was going to find him, that was a promise.