My Boyfriend | Yeonbin

FIFTY FOUR

He wasn't ready.

Soobin met someone. Almost a year later and he met someone.

They were sweet, handsome, smart, funny, but it wasn't fair. It wouldn't be fair to date someone when his heart wasn't full and he knew he wouldn't be all in.

"So you're gonna ignore him?" Kai asked one day over coffee.

Soobin looked away from him. "N-No but...I shouldn't right?"

"You deserve to love again, you deserve to feel wanted. Don't you at least want to try and give it a chance?"

"No, I-I mean yes b-but I...I'm not ready."

Kai reaches over and takes his hand. "I won't persist on you pursuing him but you should give it try."

"...okay."

...

Soobin fidgeted at his table. He was meeting the guy at a restaurant and was scared shitless.

"This was a bad idea." He says to himself.

"Well I hope I can change your mind."

He jumps and watched the guy smile as he sat down.

"Haeil, I-I'm sorry I-"

He giggled. "No it's alright. It's been awhile for you I understand."

Haeil was much smaller than Soobin, he was adorable, his hair was a dark brown that he pulled into a pony tail. He had a cute round face and glasses. He wore a sweater but practically anything baggy swallowed him.

Soobin smiles at him. "You look...pretty." He blushed and looks away from him. "You let your hair grow out a little. I like it."

"Thanks. You look handsome."

"Thank you."

They talk over dinner and Soobin enjoys his company, Haeil is clearly into him and maybe Soobin feels the same way.

After dinner Soobin walks him home, Haeil takes the initiative to hold his hand and Soobin doesn't pull away. He likes it, he's...warm.

They get to his door step and Haeil opens his door offering for Soobin to come in.

"I...shouldn't."

Haeil gives him a sad smile. "It's alright Soobin, I hope I'm not moving too fast for you."

"No no you've been so patient and I'm grateful. I don't wanna lead you on, I don't know if I'm ready for something serious right now."

"That's fine with me Soobin. We could just watch a movie or something. The night is still young."

There was no harm in movie watching. He agrees and they settle in watching a comedy together. They are both tense as they sat next to each other.

The movie goes on and Haeil moves a little closer to him and slowly rests his head on his shoulder. Soobin looks at him.

"I-Is this okay?"

"Y-Yeah I like it." This makes Haeil smile and they keep watching occasionally laughing together at the movie.

When it finishes Haeil is sad to see Soobin getting ready to leave.

"We can hang out again tomorrow I promise. My place this time, Anju misses you."

Haeil giggled. "And I miss him." He rubs his arm and a piece of hair falls out of his ponytail and into his face.

Soobin without thinking reaches and tucked it behind his ear and out of his face. They stare at each other and his hand traced his jawline and tilted his chin up.

It all happened so fast.

One moment they were just standing there and the next Soobin had kissed him. It was so soft and gentle, he didn't realize how much he longed for someone.

Haeil wrapped his arms around him and Soobin picked him up caring him back to the couch. Haeil helped take his jacket off and Soobin slid his hands under his sweater making the male moan against his lips.

"Soobin~"

And it was almost like someone turned a switch on because he jumped away from him shocked by his own actions.

"I-I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry." He starts quickly grabbing his things and Haeil frowns.

"W-Wait Binnie please!"

"I have to go!" He runs out the house and runs all the way to Beomgyu's apartment in the middle of the night.

He's banging on the door like a mad man until Beomgyu opened the door with a gun in his hand.

"Soobin what the hell?"

"I kissed someone else." He says and exhaustion finally hits him as he sinks to the floor. "I'm so stupid, what would Yeonjun think? He'd be angry."

Beomgyu sits in front of him.

"Yah Soobin look at me." He does and Beomgyu looks serious. "Yeonjun is gone Soobin."

"N-No he's not how can you say that!" He yells and breaks down into tears.

Taehyun comes out to see what was going on and Beomgyu is comforting Soobin on the floor. He joins them, hugging the two males and hopes one day it'll be easier.

...

One day. He decides to go see it. His grave.

He had never visited it not once. He didn't want to see it, he didn't want to think he was really gone but he needed his mind to know. He needed to get it through his head that he lost him.

He finds the grave and sees all the flowers left by their friends. He kneels down and prays in front of his grave before leaving his bouquet of flowers for him.

"In another life time Yeonjun. I'll come and find you, I promise." He says.

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

Merry Christmas
&
Happy holidays
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