Spring Forward, Fall Back (Alucard x Chubby! Reader)

Chapter 104 - Alucard vs. Smartphone Round 2

Reader P.O.V.

"Fuck!"

"You fucking piece of shit!"

"Oh come on! Belmont is smarter than this shit!"

"Why the fuck won't this do what I want it to?"

"Son of a bitch!"

I rubbed my tired eyes as I sat up in bed after having heard the shouting from the living room, fairly certain that any further attempts to sleep in would be met with similar ravings coming from beyond the open door. I swung my legs over the side of the bed and rubbed my face as a yawn ripped from my body, my desire to sleep once more a now unreachable summit as long as the yelling fr-

"Oh Christ! Not that fucking button!"

I staggered my way out of bed toward the bathroom to do my morning routine already in the mood to beat the shit out of myself for getting Adrian all those electronics at once. I thought I was being helpful, but it turns out I was just proving a certain Dhampir was just as bad as his full-vampire father when it came to sleep deprivation. Stumbling still through the bedroom, I grabbed some clothes and prepared my shower.

All while shampooing and conditioning my hair I could hear his incomprehensible ravings and found myself trying to drown them out by nearly drowning myself under the water pressure of the shower head. I was even finding it more difficult to enjoy the rest of my toilet with his occasional shouts of displeasure bounding through the apartment, threats of violence toward an inanimate object that he apparently couldn't figure out becoming almost like the world's worst song in creation. By the time I'd finished my routine and dressing, the sounds from the living room had died down significantly enough for me to wish I had just powered through everything and gone back to sleep. Instead, I walked out to the kitchen and began making a pot of coffee. I was going to need it just to get through the day, I just knew it.

I pulled out the stuff to make breakfast, figuring that pancakes and sausage were good for the day ahead, and began to cook while drinking the little bit of coffee that came out of the maker before the pot finished. My movements seemed too slow this morning which made me chuckle internally. A vampire in slow motion? Ludicrous. Me in the morning dragging enough ass to feel like I'm a donkey breeder? Oh yeah. The reality is hard to ignore. While I was distracted by my inner musings, I hadn't noticed that the noises from the living room had stopped and that the creator of said annoyance had slipped in behind me. Adrian's arms slid around my waist and his chest pressed against my back.

"Morning, my love," he said huskily, his breath tickling my ear.

"Morning, noisy," I responded testily. I didn't really mean to make it sound as bad as it had, but I had some anger left over from being awakened far too early.

"I knew I was making too much noise," he said with guilt tinting his every word. "I didn't mean to awaken you, but I got so frustrated with that fucking smartphone, which I'm not entirely sure its as smart as they say it is, and I ended up yelling at it. I'm sorry."

"Let me eat and get about a gallon's worth of coffee in me and I'll see what I can do to help you. Alright?" I asked as I flipped the last of the pancakes.

"Agreed," Adrian responded happily after planting a small kiss just behind my ear. He then detached himself from me and got out plates, glasses for juice and an extra coffee cup from the cabinet and sat the table. I grabbed the two platters and the silverware while he came back in to get the fruit juice, syrup and a couple bananas. Once everything was on the table we sat down to eat, chatting amiably about what to do for the day as well as him explaining what it was he had trouble with on the smartphone.

"All I wanted to do was get into YouTube again to watch that dog video again and all of a sudden I was sent to an advertisement that wouldn't let me back out. Then it went into the browser and took me to the website of the product. Next I tried closing the browser only for it to pop up some site filled with stick figure women having sex with men who apparently were part horse at some point. Finally I just got fed up with it all and tried to play a game instead, but I guess I put my thumbs on the wrong part of the screen because it kept skipping to and fro rather than going where I wanted it to."

"Hm..." I hummed around a bit of sausage, "so what I'm getting here is you touched something wrong, ended up somewhere you weren't trying to go, watched stick figures fuck horses and then fucked up on a game. That about right?" Before he even got a chance to answer, I was trying not to choke on my food with the laughter coming out of me. I tried not to laugh. Not as hard as I could have, mind you, but I did try. My still sleepy mind wouldn't let me do much of anything other than desperately try to keep the mental images from running away with me.

"Hey!" Adrian said angrily, even as his face showed a slight smile. "It isn't quite that simple! I was doing everything you told me and it still fucked up. I need you to show me again how to do this stuff, and I hope you'll be able to do it without laughing at me too much."

Still snickering, "Ok, ok. I'll help you again. I can't promise you I won't laugh at you or with you, but I'll give it my best."

After breakfast, the two of us sat on the couch and I showed him how to do things on his phone once again. Laughing was something I couldn't stop doing because he'd left the tabs open and I finally got a chance to see what he was complaining about. She really did look like a stick figure with the most ridiculously fake breasts you ever seen in your life. The horse part, not so much.

Not even an hour had passed after showing him the ins and outs of his phone before I heard him swearing yet again. Curiosity piqued, I looked over his shoulder to figure out where he was having trouble, yet again seeing him trying to open a web page only to see the inevitable porn popups all over the screen.

"Son of a fucking bitch!" Adrian railed at his phone. "I can't believe this shit! All I wanted to do was read an article on tuxedos and ended up with this all over my screen!"

"Tuxedos?" I asked. "You're already trying to pick out a tux for the wedding?"

"Of course," he said without preamble. "I'm excited to be wed to you and we are supposed to start planning now. Remember? Allen said we should start as soon as possible when we got back." My eyes widened when I realized he was right. I hadn't thought about the wedding since we'd returned because I had been thinking about trying to find any Belmont descendants. Also, unknown to Adrian, I had been trying to locate his parents to find out how things were going and find out if they were coming to visit soon.

"I know you are, but I'm saving some of that for when we go to Dad's this weekend," I admitted. "I want to have him help pick out colors and give us a few ideas on where to have.."

"You do realize your cousin Reggie will suggest the hotel, right?" he interrupted me. I sighed heavily at his comment, but had to concede the possibility.

"Yeah. I'm pretty sure she will, too. But I still want to ask Dad about that." He nodded in answer, pulled me closer to his side and kissed my temple. I instantly felt comfort and wrapped my arms around his waist, his heartbeat thumping beneath my ear why I lay my head. His scent entered my nose and began to lull me back to sleep. Adrian must have noticed this because he stopped everything he was doing on his phone and picked up a blanket. Shifting on the couch so that I lay beside him, he pulled the blanket over the both of us and joined me in a late morning nap. Just as I was starting to doze off I heard Adrian say one last thing.

"Fucking smartphone. I'll deal with you later."