US States Incorrect Quotes, or just random sh!t-

Part 7

Hawaii: I just ended a four year relationship.

New Mexico: Oh, I'm so sorry. Are you okay?

Hawaii: Hm? Oh yeah, I'm fine. It wasn't my relationship.

*Utah and Nebraska fighting from across the room*

~

New Jersey, mad as fuck, banging on the door: Woodson! Open up!

Washington: Well, it all started when I was a kid...

Illinois, worried: No, he meant-

Virginia: Let him finish.

~

Alaska: God, give me patience.

Wisconsin: I think you mean 'give me strength'.

Alaska: If God gave me strength, you'd be dead.

~

Indiana: What are your goals?

Arkansas: To pet all the dogs.

Indiana: No, fitness goals.

Arkansas: To be able to run fast enough to pet all the dogs.

(According to what I've researched, Arkansas has a TON of dog owners- Correct me if I'm wrong.)

~

Massachusetts being an absolute jackass: Top 30 reasons why Massachusetts is sorry... Number 5 will surprise you!

Utah: Top 30 anime deaths. Number One: YOUR FUCKING ASS RIGHT NOW!!!

~

Illinois, being very regretful: Sorry it took me so long to bail you out of jail. It's just, y'know I'm not Mary...

Nevada, comforting Illinois: No it's my fault, I shouldn't have used my one phone call to prank call the police.

California: You did what?!

~

New Hampshire: You saved me. I owe you my life.

Nevada: No thanks. I've seen it and I'm not very impressed.

~

*This took place in late October*

Colorado, in a beach shirt: So sue me, it's October and I'd like to be on Island Time for a day!

Washington: I have Spotify open right now on my computer, do you want me to blast you? Do you want me to put you on blast? Cuz I've got your history right here on the sidebar-

Washington: Take it Back by Jimmy Buffet, Nautical Wheelers by Jimmy Buffet, Jolly Mon Sing by Jimmy Buffet, Steamer by Jimmy Buffet, trEAT HER LIKE A LADY BY JIMMY BUFFET, MAÑANA BY JIMMY BUFFET, WHEN SALOME PLAYS THE DRUMS BY JAMES BUFFET, HAVANA DAYDREAMIN BY JIMMY BUFFET- What the FUCK happened to you?!

Colorado, laughing: I HAD A CASE OF THE MONDAYS

Washington: ARE YOU HAUNTED?! ARE YOU FUCKING POSSESSED?!

Washington: YOU USED TO BE MY FRIEND

Colorado, cry-laughing: ᴵ ᴴᴬᴰ ᴬ ᶜᴬˢᴱ ᴼᶠ ᵀᴴᴱ ᴹᴼᴺᴰᴬʸˢ

~

Pennsylvania, GLARING at him: Oregon...

Oregon: Oh no, 'Oregon' in b-flat.

Oregon: You're disappointed.

~

Florida: I slept for almost 12 hours but I might still be tired so lets go for 12 more just in case.

Kentucky: Flor, that's a coma.

Florida: Sounds festive.

~

Mississippi, talking to Alabama on the phone: Did you preheat the oven like I told you to?

Alabama: You bet!

Mississippi: At what temperature?

Alabama: 535.

Mississippi: That's the clock.

Alabama:

Mississippi:

Alabama: 536. Well bro Flor once preheated the oven at 800 degrees-

Mississippi, with a disappointed smile: Note to self, do the preheating yourself next time.

~

*Wyoming and Vermont are having a discussion next to New Hampshire*

Vermont: You're right.

New Hampshire: That's... That's an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?

~

Illinois: Where are you going?

Colorado: To get ice cream or commit a felony, I'll decide on the way there.

~

Mississippi: Georgia, can I talk to you for a second?

Georgia: Yeah, what's up? Lemme guess. You and California are having problems and you want me to teach you how to kiss?

Mississippi, embarrassed: What? No, stop that. I know how to kiss. I've read books.

~

Minnesota: What did you do with Michigan's body?

Ohio: What didn't I do with the body?

Minnesota:

Ohio: Okay, that sounded more sexual than I intended. I disposed of the corpse respectfully.

~

Alabama: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Marlin?

New Mexico: ... No.

Washington: I do!

Alabama: I know, Woodson.

Washington: I'm sad!

Alabama: I know, Woodson.

~

West Virginia: If I die, my funeral is going to be the biggest party ever and you're all invited

Florida: If?

Arkansas: Great, the only party I've ever been invited to and she might not even die.

~

New Hampshire: You have to apologize to Noah

S. Dakota: Fine.

S. Dakota, to Nebraska: 'Unfuck you' or whatever.