The Man You Are Now (Skephalo) COMPLETED

Do You See A Man?

TW// Mentions of abuse

When the pizza arrived Bad went to the door and paid for it. He set the box down on the table and poured a fresh glass of water for him, and Skeppy. "Skeppy, come have some pizza."

Skeppy came out of the living room and sat at the table. "Thank you again. You're doing so much more than you have to. I appreciate it so much." Skeppy couldn't get over Bad's selflessness.

"Shh, stop mentioning it you muffinhead." Bad got a slice of pizza for Skeppy and set it in front of him. "Fill up your belly, then I can help you get comfortable on the couch for the night."

Skeppy nodded and picked up his pizza, taking a bite. "Thank you."

Bad got a slice of pizza for himself and started eating. He thought this would be a good time to ask a couple general questions. "So, is Lee a long-term partner?"

"It's been 3 years." Skeppy revealed.

"Oh wow...was he always a bit abusive?" Bad wondered if Skeppy had been dealing with toxic behavior for a prolonged period.

"I guess, you could say he was..." Skeppy cleared his throat, trying not to get choked up and cry.

"I'm so sorry, that's awful..." Bad took a sip of water before asking the next uncomfortable question. "So is Lee the other biological parent?"

Skeppy looked down at his stomach, but didn't reply. He looked back up and continued eating.

Bad frowned, thinking he crossed a line. "I'm sorry- I'm just concerned about you and your family."

Skeppy sighed and put his pizza down, sipping his water to clear the lump in his throat. "Yeah, Lee is the dad. He goes by he/they pronouns though so...can we still respect that?"

"Yeah, yeah of course. Okay, good to know." Bad shifted around uncomfortably. Obviously not because of the pronoun thing. He was uncomfortable knowing Lee had the right to be in his child's life. They could end up making the pregnancy and parenthood so much harder for Skeppy. "Does Lee plan on taking responsibility for the baby?"

"No...Lee said we're putting the baby up for adoption." Skeppy was uncomfortable to be talking about this, but he understood why Bad wanted to know.

"Do you want that?" Bad could tell that Skeppy wanted his baby.

"I don't know...I want my baby, but I'm scared of losing my manhood in the process of parenting..." Skeppy put down his pizza again. His appetite was disappearing.

"Huh? Men are parents too Skeppy." Bad chuckled.

"Yeah, but they don't give birth. They don't have post baby bodies and they ususlly don't nurture their kids." Skeppy had a black and white veiw on parenthood. He didn't know any better.

"Skeppy, men do all of those things. Clearly, because you're a man about to do it." Bad reached over and held Skeppy's hands kindly. He usually held hands with his patients during distressing times, but this time felt more personal. "There are so many assigned male at birth people that would love to have their own baby and give birth. Any gender can have and love a baby."

"It just feels feminine...no matter how far I've come with my transition... femininity still scares me." Skeppy held Bad's hands tightly.

"Well even if it is feminine, Men can enjoy being feminine too. I wore nail polish all throughout highschool. Are you telling me I'm not a man because of that?" Bad tilted his head.

"It's different...you were assigned male at birth, they'll always see you as a man. Even if you came out as a trans women, they will still see you as a man...just how everyone still sees me as a female." Skeppy tried to put it into words that Bad could understand. But Bad would never truly understand.