Your arranged marriage to a prominent feudal lord has always been a happy one or so you thought. When he suspects your lack of fertility, he takes up a mistress much to your dismay. Your sister, no less!
The overwhelming depression forces you into...
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A/N: I am back! It was a bit tough but all is good. Small update, but I promise a longer chapter on Friday! c:
[-x-]
'Is this truly who I've become?'
Your eyes tear up at your reflection in the mirror. Hours ago you were the picture of elegance, the living embodiment of beauty. Everything was handled to perfection by your maid-- Mozuka, a petite adult woman with a penchant for beautifying. She slaved over your look for hours only for you to ruin it with your tears.
Is this what your life has been destined to be? Always controlled by a man with power. Will it always be this way?
Your heart aches and calls for sleep, hoping the morrow will be a better day for you.
[x]
You awaken to a horrified Mozuka. Her gaze is laced with pity and astonishment, but she quickly paves it over with professionalism. In an instant, you are guided to a hot bath as she wipes away the troubles from yesterday.
There are no more tears left to give so you sit in your tub silently. Your mind wanders back to the night, where Madara's distaste and anger mixed on his expression. How disappointed he felt in your actions when all you wanted to do was please him!
Why had you thought he'd want you there? You were well aware of your place in this estate, he made that clear.
Yet after spending time with him, barriers disintegrated and you thought you were on another level in the relationship. Meanwhile he still held onto his walls, making you out to be the delusional woman; a description you had been well acquainted with because of your ex-husband.
Your thoughts are put on pause as Mozuka fetches and clothes you. You had ward her away at the beginning, enthusing that you were not to be handled as the matriarch here. Time wore you down, her eagerness to help you softened your stance. Until finally, you allow her to do her job as you enjoy your conversations with her.
"My lady, would you like to go on a walk? I can fetch a shawl for you?" she says in her feathery voice.
"No, I'd rather be by myself right now."
Her face contorts with disapproval but she says nothing in response. Instead, she heads to the corner and conjures up some mail. "Toneri-sama has brought you mail from your apartment. Would you like to look through them?"
"Oh, when did he pass by?" You extend your arm to receive the parcel. Once in your hand, you scan through each sender's name.
"Earlier in the morning. He had hoped to bring some levity to your day."
"That is kind of him." Your words hold no meaning as you find yourself lost in your thoughts. One letter has you eager yet dubious to open it, but you take the plunge. 'What's the worst that could come of it?'
You instantly recognize the familiarity of your sister's handwriting. Pain blended with nostalgia takes root in your heart as you skim through the contents. She first asks about your wellbeing then prattles on about the baby. Although it is nice to hear about his great health, you still possess great afflictions about his birth.
However, all is forgotten upon the meat of the letter. It's a rather large paragraph, written carefully and with subtle concern.
'Do you remember our cousin, May? She's our second cousin... My playmate since she was two years younger than me. Apparently, our parents were so sure you'd accept their proposition that they had already promised that feudal lord your hand in marriage. They were in the works of speaking with Tomoda's uncle to dissolve your union. However, when you rejected, it left them with unfavorable terms.'
You scoff and smirk. It serves them right.
'Unfortunately when they are backed into the corner, they become desperate. It appears that May has been selected in your stead. She is absolutely distraught as she had hoped to be paired with someone in the village. The clan found out she was in a relationship and have barred her from leaving.'
You cover your mouth in horror.
'Should you hear of anything, please give May as much support as possible. I know it is arrogant of me to be in a position of requesting, but I am truly--'
You crumble the letter and throw it into the waste bin. More emotions torment your soul that you cannot hold it in any longer. A stream of tears sprout forth, glistening your cheeks once more. Your heart shrouds itself in contempt; contempt for your clan, contempt at what you had created, and contempt for this system.
A woman should not live helpless to a man's whims. To be desolate should she anger him or have an opinion of her own is ridiculous. Sad.
And you refuse to live in a such a way. Not anymore.
