Amaryllis | REVIEW SHOP [ CLOSED ]

《Maria》King's Love

Reviewer: marshaa1306
Written by: Ada-Noir

Title/Cover - 9/10
The title is alright. It definitely gets the message across that your book is of the romance genre, but it sounds a bit generic. I think that a better title is out there somewhere for your story.
The cover also goes along with the romance theme. It’s racy and has a nice color scheme. I also like how you managed to incorporate the crown as the apostrophe in “king’s”.

Blurb - 8/10
The gist of your blurb is pretty good, but it could be executed better. I like how you’ve given Kara and Monroe separate paragraphs, but Kara’s is lacking substance. Her paragraph talks about how she wants traits she doesn’t have and how she’s drawn to a boy who’s more on the wild side. Classic bad boy trope. My problem here is that the whole thing is pretty vague and doesn’t really hold any intrigue around Kara’s character. Honestly, she sounds just like every other quiet girl ever written in romantic literature. I’d advise describing more of what makes her unique from other characters. I’d do the same with Monroe as well. Otherwise, they may come across as carbon copies of all the other characters from this trope.

First few chapters/Exposition - 10/10
I love how you jump straight to the action without fooling around with so many preliminaries. Right off the bat, we’ve met Monroe and learned multiple things about his character. We also meet Kara very early on and learned about her. It was so fun to read how you were able to introduce and describe both characters effortlessly. Usually, it’s hard to pack a lot of information into a small space without the reader going brain dead, but you’ve managed to pull it off. Awesome work!

Plot - 20/20
The plot of this story was well done. It was interesting, had many layers, and made me want to keep reading. I really liked how it kept on moving instead of reaching a point of stagnance. That’s really all I have to say here. Amazing job!

Pace - 10/10
The pacing in this story is good. I like how you’ve spaced out the racier parts nicely and allowed time for the meat of the story to be told.

Grammar, Punctuation, Syntax & Diction - 9/10
Just a few things here. First, you sometimes use semicolons where commas belong. Second, you have some suuuuuuper long sentences that really need to be chopped up into bite-sized chunks. Long sentences can easily be confusing to readers like me. Other than that, grammar is solid and word choice is good.

Characters - 14/15
Monroe: I’m pretty sure if you looked up “devilish” in the dictionary, a picture of this guy would come up. That’s definitely the word that comes to mind when I think of him. He’s daring, confident, and doesn’t care at all. I like how you write his thoughts and let readers have a route into his head. It makes the story more interesting than if you just said what he did.
Kara: Her description in the blurb and how she acts in the story could not be more different to me. In the blurb, she’s described as quiet and shy, but in the book she’s the opposite. Excuse my french, but in the book some of the stuff she says is really badass. I think you could use that quality of hers to make your book stand out from others. It makes her as a character stand out for sure.
Megan: Kara totally deserves a friend like her with all of the stuff she’s had to put up with. Even drunk, she’s on Kara’s side through and through, and she even offers to beat up Kara’s awful “boyfriend”. I like reading about her character because it contrasts well with Kara’s.

Overall Enjoyment - 15/15
I really enjoyed reading this book. It was engaging and interesting, and the characters were awesome. Your story is already pretty top-notch, and with a few tweaks it will be even better! I’ll be adding it to my library and reading the rest when I have the time. Good luck on the rest of your writing endeavors!

Total Score: 95/100