Amaryllis | REVIEW SHOP [ CLOSED ]

《Borb》Hurts to be Risa

Reviewer: Borbityborb
Written by: Tequila_scribbles

*Note: Prologue to Chapter 10 were read

Book cover - 4.5/5

It’s gorgeous. The color scheme, font, and image give the book a clean, thrilling, paranormal feel. In my opinion the author name at the top could have a different font to match the title’s better; it’s also a bit hard to read.

Book title - 4/5

It reflects the book’s themes nicely,  both for Risa’s school life and her supernatural troubles. It also rolls off the tongue. However, I feel it can sound more catchy and memorable.

Book description - 3/5

There are some grammatical errors and the description can be shorter and more direct. It’s written in an enticing way, however you should give away less of the plot to keep the mystery of the book’s first chapters exciting. Here’s how I would rewrite it:

An invasion by the dark forces of Zelidar leaves the city of Creantis in ruins. Most citizens are harmed, killed, and the unfortunate few are taken in captivity.

That is the nightmare Risa Parkins keeps waking to. She thought her problems were bad enough: between her memory loss, school life, and hallucinations, nothing could possibly get worse…

 …until her family reveals the truth of her identity. Suddenly she is thrown into the world of demons and light, and a battle is brewing on the horizon. Can she set things right?

Prologue - 4.5/5
*(This covers “Meet the Casts” and “Prologue”)

A friendly correction: it’d be more grammatically correct to title it “Meet the Cast”! I love the graphics and the moodboards in this chapter (also, there are some grammatical errors in some moodboard text) and it made me hyped to get to know the characters! 

The prologue was WOW. I have no better words! Your pacing was perfect, the main character is badass, but at the same time it hit the readers square in the face with the dangerousness of the Zelidar and the world you’re building. The magic wasn’t difficult to understand, you described everything in good detail. Most importantly, it instantly got me turning to the next page. Well done! 

Plot - 17/20

In the first 5 chapters, we see Risa’s school life and her friendship with Mirald. Everything seems normal at surface level - until Risa’s hair begins to change, and she sees and experiences supernatural things. I wish the background characters she and Mirald talked about - such as Pete, Tane, and Vanik - had more of a presence in the story. It would make their school life feel more lively and help me get into the protagonist’s shoes, not feel like I’m watching from faraway.

It’s stated that Risa had a coma, but it was not expounded on. I would’ve liked clarification on how much memory she’d lost and the difficulties she had with it. It would make me sympathize with her sassy, guarded behavior more. 

I loved the part where she met her family! It was fun, exciting, and wacky. It was a surprise at every turn and I felt like I was exploring Risa’s past and powers alongside her. I especially love Tane’s confrontation with Lothario; the Zelidar are intimidating demons I look forward to reading more about!

Overall, the plot of demons vs. the light isn’t new, but you wrote it in a thrilling way! There is good substance in this story with many opportunities. I love the characters’ abilities - both the enemy’s and the hero’s - and they have interesting backstories and relationships with each other.