Amaryllis | REVIEW SHOP [ CLOSED ]

《Blade》The Colour of Second Chances

REVIEW - THE COLOUR OF SECOND CHANCES (tread_carefully)
(First 8 chapters were reviewed)

REVIEWER - Blade DeathBlade__

Title: 3.5/5
- The title is very intriguing. It sounds poetic, which is great for drawing in readers. However, it doesn’t fit the plot just yet. In 8 chapters, there are no hints of anyone needing a second chance and even when it’s there, it’s very subtle. This is mostly because of the fact that the plot moves a bit slowly (more on that later) and this makes me unable to correlate the plot and the title.
- I’d suggest you leave more hints about the second chance because I do love the title (I wouldn’t suggest changing it).
- This isn’t mandatory, but you could remove the [Completed] from the title. Wattpad allows you to update the book’s status (which you have done) so adding it to the title is unnecessary.

Cover: 0.5/5
- It isn’t very attractive. The font is plain and so is the background. People do judge books by their cover and as for the first impression, it could be improved.
- I’m not sure why the cover is in black and white (perhaps because there are no colours to second chances and it’s an irony?) If this was the reason, It’s hard to relate to because we don’t have the reasoning for the title and therefore cannot correlate the cover and the title.
- The background image is people with guns which I can’t be too sure about since the background is blurred. You could choose a background that is more impactful to the reader and isn’t so crowded.
- The title, as I mentioned, is plain. The author’s name blends in with the background, making it hard to read.
- Lastly, the sticker pulls away from the black-and-white theme of the cover. It is not necessary to have a sticker showcasing the book’s genre since this can be done through Wattpad features as well.

Blurb: 2/5
- I like both the quotes you’ve added, to the start and end of the blurb. They create curiosity and fit the vibe of the book.
- I noticed that the blurb has a lot more information than the actual plot. You mentioned in the blurb that Nobi had been adopted and that she had lost her brother, both of which were not mentioned in the book. It isn’t enough that the blurb has this information, the chapters should as well or else it would be very forgettable and confusing.
- The last line Unknown to her, her boss keeps….brother is very long. I’d suggest you change the sentence structure and break down that sentence because it’s very lengthy, making the blurb unenticing.

Writing Style: 10/10
- This is my favorite part of the book. The writing style wasn’t too long but it managed to make the surroundings very clear. You’ve only elaborated on the required information and when it’s done, it’s compact and clear, which is perfect!
- You started off strong with an amazing description of Danielle, which gave me huge hopes for the rest of the chapters.
- The dog chase scene was also beautifully written.
- Overall, the writing style is great!

Grammar: 5.5/10
- The grammar could use some work. The initial two chapters had minimal errors, quite ignorable. However, as I read along further, I could see constant errors.
- Mainly, the errors were with tenses. The book started off in present tense but I noticed you kept switching to past tense for no apparent reason. Another issue were the typos (quite common, but they were still present)
- I made notes for the chapters to give you a bit of a headstart with the editing!

Introduction:
Not a huge deal, but you wrote ‘His face, tho, reflects it’ instead of ‘though’

Chapter 1:
- I exhaled instead of I exhale (since the book is written in present tense)
- working the brotherhood instead of working at* the brotherhood
- In the para ‘The walk to Papa’s office appeared so long…’ the tenses change numerous times.