Amaryllis | REVIEW SHOP [ CLOSED ]

《Kailyn》Seret

Client: Wabisabi_kn

Reviewed by: Kailucy

Cover: 8/10

It's cute and the font is lovely but it's not really eye-catching. Maybe add a little something to it, like a silhouette?

Title: 9/10

I love titles that are character names so I immediately liked this one. Once I realized that's what it was at first I was confused.

Blurb: 9/10

The blurb is good. It introduced the main character and the main plot. The only thing is the last word should be "worse" Other than that it's great.

Character/character development: 8/10

Firstly I like the characters so far. Or really the idea of the characters, but I absolutely love the friendship between Seret and Riley. Definitely hope to see a lot more of Riley. Not much character development yet, but I do see where there's room for development so I'm taking it as a good sign.

Seret and her mom Emily especially feel flat. I get their relationship is good until a secret is revealed but I wasn't completely sold on it. It felt a little too perfect and quite honestly flat. Maybe it's cause immediately after the secret gets out everything changes. Which I understand why, but personally I think it would make more sense if we saw how their relationship was already starting to strain. Maybe have the secret get out a little later so we can see a little more of them before. Of course, this is just a suggestion. It's your story and ultimately you should be happy with it.

Plot: 18/20

The plot is fast-paced and intriguing. Chapter one dove straight in to the action. I liked that you've already gave insight on why the dad is out of the picture. As I stated above I would love to see more of Riley and Seret's friendship.

Chapter Two: Yes! More Riley. I love it when friends actually play a role in the story instead of when they're introduced once and then seen again in the last chapter.

Chapter Three: Great cliffhanger. I'm thinking she isn't really and it's gonna start something. (updated note: I was right)

Chapter Four: I was not expecting it to play out like that!

Chapter Five: I have a feeling the fires are connected. Like somebody set them. Oh! I wonder if it's gonna be the man at the end with the gun. The perfect way to end a chapter. It's made me want to read on to see what would happen next.

Writing Style: 18/20

I liked the descriptions but the writing at times felt clunky. Also, the formatting made it hard to read. Please add paragraphs throughout. And on wattpad it's usually a good idea to space out paragraphs to make it easier to read. Add a space every time a new character speaks, or when you're starting a new paragraph.

Grammar/spelling/vocabulary: 8/10

There weren't many mistakes but there were a few. The main thing is like I stated above the sentences felt clunky at times.

In the second chapter, there was a mistake, the corrected version would be, "Even though the beach was quiet."

And the fifth chapter had one as well, "Like where was this house..."

Enjoyment: 9/10

I did enjoy it for the most part.

Overall: 89/100

Overall, you're off to a great start and I can't wait to see where you'll take this book. Think about working on some of the things I mentioned and it'll improve greatly. Keep it up! Good luck with your writing/editing!