Amaryllis | REVIEW SHOP [ CLOSED ]

《Yasmin》The Irregular at Magic School

Reviewer: Yasmin Owls1221

The Irregular At Magic School by TypicalPen

Title: 9/10

I would say that the title is not bad, it’s good actually since it portrays that there’s something off or abnormal at a magical school. Some people might find it cliche or not too creative due to saying ‘Magic School’ plainly. But I find it a little more unique because you expressed the title in a different way, I’m referring to the word ‘irregular’ which again indicates that there’s something wrong with this school that even the staff/students/wizards find it strange. Additionally, to me it evokes the sense of mystery to how and why the people find it irregular.

Although, as I said about people thinking the title might be too plain or simple, you could write the name of the school in the title. Like this: “The Irregular at Magnus Academy”.

Or if you prefer to keep it that way, that’s also fine by me. It’s your story after all, do what you find it necessary 🙂

Cover: 5/10

I think it’s pretty but it’s also very simple. To be honest, I think the title is what attracts readers more than the visuals, which is basically a bunch of butterflies and what seems to be a circular shape at the bottom with black and gold being the only colours. I’m not a graphics expert but there has to be something more. I don’t know what but there has to be something more attractive to the reader’s eyes. If you don’t know how to make a book cover, don’t worry, you can request a book cover from book covers shops on Wattpad (*whispers* try our graphic shops first) and I assure you, you’ll have the best cover made for your book. ;)

Summary: 5/10

In all honesty, the summary could use a lot of work in terms of how to provide a brief info without spoiling the plot. The title says that the story will focus on the irregularities at a school, meanwhile the summary seems to focus more on Altair as a character and what she’s going through in that school. I think there are some spoilers at the end bit of the summary where they reveal that Altair will change her attitude towards people. I think this revelation breaks the mystery of the plot or that it revealed too much to the reader, and there were less things about the school itself.

The point of a summary is to offer a brief idea of what the story is about without revealing too much, otherwise you could spoil the whole book and people won’t read it. So the only thing you could do to fix this is put Altair’s character development in the chapters of your books without telling the reader about it in the summary. Let the chapters tell the reader what Altair is going through and how she develops throughout the story.

Grammar: 3.5/10

I don’t want to be rude but I have to be honest about this because grammar is the most important element, especially in storytelling. If the story is not written according to grammar then the story won't be understandable and might cause some misunderstanding or misconceptions.
Grammar is basically about how words and phrases are used correctly to help the reader understand what you’re trying to say, this involves the words being singular or plural, past or present or future, and using correct pronouns. Here a few words/phrases from your work to give you examples:

X incorrect X:

Use of pronouns and verbs >> “His cries after I shut the door at his face”

Use of singular/plural words or verbs >> “So the people in this household doesn’t bother any of those”

Use of past or present or future >> “Mom did not expect to conceived me in the first place”

O correct O: