Amaryllis | REVIEW SHOP [ CLOSED ]

《Pavana》Boundless

"Sometimes, people don't want to admit their mistakes, too ashamed to even confess their guilt. That's when someone else takes the blame."

Book: "Boundless"
Author: CoffeeAndSilverInk
Reviewer: Mortals_are_dumb

Reviewed till chapter 17.

Title: 3/5

I'm not sure how it's related to the story although I do like how you've added the subtitle saying it's a synonym to infinite. Sure, it does give off vibes of the young adult romance genre but is it relatable? Maybe the conversation mentioned in the prequel shows up in the concluding chapters, but it doesn't suit when the story is built around various characters instead of typical two main characters who eventually fall in love. You could come up with something that's better than the current title. Or, make it relatable to the story somewhere where it's not restricted to two characters!

Cover: 8.5/10

First off, the cover picture, it's befitting. Again, I don't see how it's relatable. When I see the cover picture, I think of Nicole. Not allowing herself to get judged and shielding herself from any possible heartbreak under the influence of alcohol or sex. Any other reader might think of any other character seeing the cover picture. It doesn't give justice to the characters you've woven. Even if you would consider that Andrew and Nicole are the main characters, Andrew deserves to be included in the cover picture.

The font and placing is on dot. From the first look, it's attractive, but your plot surely deserves something better than that.

Description: 8.5/10

The introduction lines are perfectly placed. They hook the reader. Both length as well as content wise, it's spot on! It gives a glimpse of what the story is like to the readers without revealing much.  Regarding the introduction of characters, only Andrew has been introduced well. The other character who has been mentioned, I'm not sure who it is, is it Nicole? Or Maya? Or someone from his family? After a while it hit me that it could probably be Alice. It is quite mysterious but I believe that you could improvise it.

Talking about the "teaser" part, I appreciate how you added it and gave us a hint about the title. But it barely does the job, as I said earlier, the story is not just about two characters being in love boundlessly or whatsoever. Also, not mentioning who is talking to whom, creates a bit of confusion rather than building up curiosity amongst the readers, from what I noticed.

Opening chapter: 10/10

The story opens with a description of what Andrew is like. His descriptions are written in a way that hints readers about his past. Right in the beginning, conflict is introduced. The chapter lets us know how Andrew's first day at his University is, with introduction of two other characters. It seems natural.

Synopsis and plot development: 16/20

From what I understand, Andrew runs away from his house and leaves his family behind, as he feels caged under their clutches of expectations. He decides to start a new life keeping a low profile, with no attachments or whatsoever. He dates Alice as he's reminded of someone else from his past and they break up as Alice doesn't take things slow and doesn't accept things as they are. Alice's bestfriend Nicole and Andrew find themselves in a relationship where they neither like nor hate each other. There's Miguel who's also Nicole's bestfriend, dating Lucia, trying to impress her and take things slow. Miguel and Jenny have a bitter past and they seem to despise each other. There's some possible tension between Alice and Geovanni as they do seem to go well as a couple.

I kinda don't get the plot all too well. Andrew is supposed to face his family and eventually sort his things out, Nicole and Andrew probably would end up together. These are all predictions because the story seems to be going nowhere, we just keep getting glimpses of past and conflict but where exactly are we going to see the characters addressing them? Maybe you're saving them all up to the end. Henceforth I'll keep it aside. The execution of the plot is done well, no complaints regarding it. I like how you added normal instances amidst the scenes, as in Eliza spending time with Andrew or anything as such; they make the scenes more appealing.