Nothing More, Nothing Less

33

Chapter 33: Tears

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KODE

Nang makapasok ako sa kwarto ko, agad akong napatigil at napahawak sa ulo ng bigla na lang itong sumakit. Sobrang sakit, parang pinupokpok ang ulo ko sa sakit. Agad akong napakapit sa pader habang hinahawakan ang ulo. I wanted to scream but I can't, baka ma-istorbo ko ang katabi ng condo unit ko.

Fuck!

Shit this head! Dahan-dahan akong tumayo at mabilis na tinungo ang side table ko tsaka binuksan ito at kumuha ng kailangan ko. Nanginginig ang kamay ko habang kumukuha ng sleeping pills. Agad ko itong nilagok at pumikit tsaka nahiga sa kama.

Fuck! Shit! Argh!!!!

I silently cried. I can't take this anymore. I became aware of this sickness a few years ago, and alam kong dahil sa stress sumasakit ang ulo ko. But the past few days, madalas na ako nitong gambalain.
Namalayan ko na lang ang sarili ko na unti-unting sumasara ang talukap ng mata dahil umepekto na ang gamot.

Goodnight, Kode. I sarcastically said to myself before everything went black.

"Princess....." I looked behind me and there I saw papa.

"Papa!" I cheerfully said and ran towards his direction to hugged him.

"Did I make you wait?" Papa asked I just shook my head.

"Nope! It's okay papa." I just said.

I know papa is busy that is why he couldn't fetch me in time. After mommy and my twin left us papa is always like this. I look at papa, he was wearing a faint smile.

Papa is driving, on our way home. Hindi ko talaga maiwasan isipin na, if I'm like my twin like mommy wants, hindi ba magiging ganito ang pamilya namin? Napayuko ako dahil sa tanong na naisip ko. Hanggang ngayon, hindi ko pa rin tanggap na iniwan kami ni mommy kasama si Twin. Papa said I should always understand mommy, but why mommy can't understand the meaning of family?

Mommy left us without hesitation. Na parang wala lang sa kanya ang pamilya namin. She even force Twilight to be with her. Why? I couldn't understand.

"Midnight? Princess, why are you crying?"

I stunned when I noticed that papa was right. I'm crying, again.

"Why this is happening to us, papa?" I asked. Tinigil naman ni papa ang sasakyan at hinarap ako sa kanya.

He wipes my tears, then smiled at me but his eyes, it was saying the opposite.

"Shh, don't cry." He said and hugged me. "Midnight, let me tell you this.... always remember that everything happens has a reason."

I woke up crying. Damn, I'm crying. I smiled bitterly when I dream about that. Those are the memories that I treasure the most. I looked at the clock besides me. 4:25 am. It's too early. Pinahid ko ang luha sa mukha ko at umupo para kuhain ang headphone na nasa side table ko at sinuot ito. Nag-play naman agad ang kantang River flows in you by Yiruma.

I looked outside, medyo madilim pa. Lumipat ang tingin ko sa may kaliwang side table ko. Agad akong natigilan ng makita ang picture namin ni papa kuha ito sa park noon, ito rin ang huling picture namin na magkasama. Kinuha ko ito at hinaplos ang mukha ni papa sa litrato. Bumalik ang tingin ko doon sa side table na pinaglalagyan nito at muli akong natigilan sa nakita.

Bukas na pala.

I smiled bitterly tsaka ako humiga ulit at niyakap ang picture namin ni papa. Pinanood ko na lang ang glow in the dark kong mga stars and moon sa kisame habang nakikinig sa music.