Nothing More, Nothing Less

18

Chapter 18: Confessing....

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ZHOEY

       I DON'T KNOW when it starts. But I suddenly felt something whenever I'm with him. He is the only one who doesn't judge me despite all of the bad things I have done to him. He still forgives me—he had this golden heart that no one can take it away from him. Also, bihira lang makahanap ng lalaking ganoon kabait katulad ni Echo. I really hate him at first or I just hate him because of what l feel with him. Tss.

Sa bus, unang pagtama nang tingin namin nakaramdam na agad ako ng kung ano sa dibdib ko but I chose to ignore it. Unang pumasok sa isip ko, he's a threat for me. Lalo lang akong nainis sa tuwing nakikita siya, umabot sa na-bully ko na siya ng pisikal. I admit it, I regret it and hated myself for doing that.

Everything has changed when that day happens. Sa Bar din mismo. Saktong may nalaman ako. I was really down that time. Kaya nung sinabi niya ang mga salitang 'yun, nag-breakdown ako. Hindi ako lasing noon. I have a high tolerance in alcohol kaya alam ko ang ginagawa ko.

That time, I realized something. Hindi naman pala siya kagaya ng iniisip ko. Akala ko pakitang tao lang talaga yung pagpatawad niya sa'kin noon. He really mean it pala. That day, I realized..... I like him.

Yes, I like him, and I hate that.

Palagi sa hallway nagkakasalubong kami pero palagi naman siyang nakatungo habang naglalakad. I wasn't aware na palagi na pala akong nakatingin sa kanya, and I envied his friends kasi nakakausap nila ito.

I always saw him smiling with them. In the Cafeteria, Garden, and Hallway sa tuwing dumadaan ako. Wala naman akong ibang magawa kundi tingnan na lang siya sa malayo.

Nakita ko yung nangyari kanina sa garden. The twin of Kode—he likes her. I saw it all. That's when I knew I didn't have a chance. I was about to go towards him, but then, Kode showed up. She comforted Echo. She even sang for him a song while hugging each other. Doon ko napansin na..... Kode likes him too.

I knew it from that moment, I lost, even without trying—I will lose.

As for now, ayokong makipagtunggali kay Kode. Why? Kasi alam kong may something na rin si Echo kay Kode e. Nalilito lang siya and I think naguguluhan. However, not in my eyes.

I know Kode, she can take care of him really well. Kode will never hurt him. That b*tch, she's really awesome but mysterious at the same time. Napatingin ako sa taong nasa harapan ko ngayon. It's her. I knew it, nakita niya ang nangyari kanina sa may comfort room.

"What?" tanong ko. She looked at me with her serious expression. And instead of answering, she gave me a handkerchief, so I was stunned.

She sighed and smiled at me. "Take it."

Nanatili lang akong nakatingin sa kanya. Natawa naman siya at lumapit sa'kin. Nagulat na lang ako ng pinunasan niya ang mukha ko na may luha na pala.

"It's okay to be hurt, Zhoey." Sabi nito habang pinupunasan ang mukha ko, and she gave me a genuine smile. "It's okay to let that out,"

Ilang sandali ay umupo ito sa tabi ko. Nandito kami sa labas ng Our Zone Bar, by the way. Kami lang ang tao dito, nakaharap kami sa kalsada at kitang-kita dito ang buwan.

"Loving him is painful, isn't it?" She said out of nowhere.

"Yeah." Sabi ko na lang at tumingin sa buwan.

"But it's worth it, he's worth it." Kode continued. My heart melts after she said those words.

It's too painful, although ngayon ko lang ito naramdaman. I agree with het. What I feel is wrong, but Echo is worth to like.