cardigan, a. butler

eighty-six

eighty-six, devastation

since elsie had arrived back in england to finish filming the remainder of her movie, she couldn't help but think about what her mother had told her.

what if the doctors were wrong?

what if she was able to have kids?

she had spent majority of her life believing that she may never have kids and the thought of the slight possibility that she could have a child warmed her heart.

all she ever wanted was to be a mother and if there was a possibility that it could happen, she'd do anything for that to become possible.

but elsie didn't want to get her hopes up, which is why she had been stalling on making an appointment.

she wanted to know the truth more than anything but she was scared of her diagnosis remaining the same.

she didn't want to be disappointed. she had been disappointed by so many people and she couldn't handle another wave of disappointment.

elsie had been so distant since she had returned and the only one to notice was hayden and jacob.

jacob and elsie had briefly talked at the oscars and he thought everything had went well that night.

he didn't understand what could have possibly gone wrong but he knew to give elsie space until she was ready to talk to someone about what was troubling her mind.

hayden, however, could see how much she was hurting and he didn't like to see people he cared about upset.

"everything okay? you kind of spaced out just now." he stated as he played with padfoot.

elsie looked away from her window and looked towards hayden.

"yeah, everything's fine." elsie sighed as she placed a fake smile on her face.

"you may be fooling everyone but you're not fooling me. what's going on?" he asked with concern.

the actresses sighed before glancing down at her lap as she played with her nails.

"a couple of years ago, i was told that i may never have kids and since then, i never got a second opinion. when my mom came down to get my measurements, she asked me if i had seen another doctor about it and when i told her no, she told me that she thinks it would be good for me to see another doctor.

and i obviously want to know the truth but i'm scared. i don't want to get so much hope just for it to be ruined by the fact that i still can't have kids. having kids is something that i always looked forward to and when i found out i couldn't, it was like my life crashed down on top of me.

and i can't go through with that feeling again. i don't think i could survive it this time." elsie confessed softly.

"i can't imagine how you're feeling and i understand your hesitation but you deserve to know whether or not you're able to have kids. out of everyone in this world, you deserve to be a mother. the way you talk to briar showcases that.

whether or not you decide to go and learn the truth is up to you but i'll be here to support you either way." he smiled at her as padfoot walked towards elsie and nestled his body close to her feet.

"thank you. it really means a lot." elsie smiled softly.

"now, how about we take padfoot for a walk?" he suggested causing elsie's smile to brighten before nodding.

"okay, let me just grab my coat." elsie stated as she got up to grab her coat before the two left her flat.

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