Wild Creatures

Chapter 8

Lan Zhan wasn't sure what woke him up.

For a few seconds, he couldn’t remember where he was, feeling disorientated but the solid warmth at his side became a grounding force. It tethered him to this new reality...his new reality now.

It was hard to think of himself as a predator...but wasn't that what he had become now?

A monster?

The changes in his body were nearing completion, he could feel it.

There was also the biggest sense of irony...him, a healthy eating connoisseur, a vegetarian and look at him now.

He had even eaten a steak...his stomach turned at the thought, nevermind throwing it all up.

And there were serious questions he would have to answer before even thinking about going back to his old life. All of that seemed like an insurmountable challenge now, and the thought of seeing his brother's face...it was causing a knot of tension in his head.

No...First and foremost, he had to gain mastery of himself, and then, only then, could he think about leaving...no...even that word caused a sharp jolt of pain in his chest. If there was a God somewhere granting prayers, then Lan Zhan wanted, in this crazy mess of his life, to be able to keep Wei Ying somehow.

And A-Yuan.

He thought back to the rather pleasant evening he had with the child.

It had been nice...to have company in the kitchen with someone who wanted to help him, and so eagerly too. His round face was so cute, a dimple in his chin when he smiled. A-Yuan really listened to Lan Zhan, hanging onto his every word.

He ran to get plates or bowls or whatever Lan Zhan needed. He found ingredients in the fridge to hand to Lan Zhan whenever he asked the little boy.

And that made him realise: A-Yuan was just as lonely as himself.

The little boy warmed up to him immediately after he had made the helicopter out of lego and more so once they made dinner together, and the official Taster had approved what he had made...even after that, A-Yuan had gone and brought a book from his room to hand to Lan Zhan.

Wen Qing's face was priceless.

"Please...can we read this together?" His hopeful face full of innocence and acceptance...it was too cute to refuse.

Not that Lan Zhan would...it was just that he hadn't been around children at all.

His only experience had been at shopping malls and the grocery store, and so...since both parents and children were most likely tired of each other, it didn't make the best of impressions.

In fact, Lan Zhan could say without any amount of guilt, he didn't really like children. It was traumatic to see adults shouting at their kids and such situations made him want to leave those scenes behind with some urgency.

But A-Yuan had leaned against him and ultimately fallen asleep.

Just that much showing of trust was humbling.

It made Lan Zhan feel better about himself for now; if a small kid wasn't scared of him...then maybe this change wouldn't be so bad?

He wanted to hold onto his humanity, to be able to feel kindness, love, happiness...all those things he'd taken for granted whilst being a vulnerable human being. And he desperately wanted to believe that he was in control, that he could be in control.

The hunger hadn't come back yet, which was strange, right?

When he had first woken up, he was so hungry that he'd bitten himself on his lip at least three times just to quench that desire, to fill his stomach. Was whatever nourishment he had gotten from the steak enough? It didn't make sense because most of it was puked out...still, he had a lot to learn about this new body.