(2) Self Harm, Depression & The Janoskians

Chapter 51

My thoughts turned hazy and corrupted after a few more drinks. The room was spinning and I couldn't think of anywhere better to be than with Luke right now. How could I shout at him down the phone like that? How could I make out he was running away from me? How could I listen to Maisy? But maybe these thoughts were due to alcohol and maybe she just was right. She is my best friend after all and she wouldn't talk me out of something I'm so happy with.

My phone beeped beside me, I looked and it was Luke. I didn't want to open the message when I caught Maisy looking at it and her face was not happy. "April, he is trying to worm his way back in. He is doing what he does, making you feel bad and upsetting you then expecting you to come running back and forgive and forget."

"Should I just read it?"

"No." She bluntly replied, looking away. She turned back with the vodka we had been drinking all night and smirked. "Lets go out."

"We wont get in anywhere. We are under-age."

"No harm in trying. There's a small bar down the road, lets just try."

After her persuading me to come I finally gave in and decided there was no harm in trying and going out. We both got ready and as I sat on the edge of the bed, I wanted to read the text from Luke so bad, so, so bad. But I was worried about the lecture I would get from Maisy if I did so. Maisy eventually was ready to go and we called a taxi. "You wont go to America will you? You wont leave me?"I looked over at her in awe. She had left me multiple times to either go off with her abusive boyfriend, which to many demands from me to stay away and leave him, which she ignored, or to see her family. I still crossed my head at her and nodded and smiled. "Good."

When we finally arrived at the bar, Maisy went off to get the drinks, well try, whilst I sat in a corner booth alone. She looks much older than me and probably had a better chance than I did. She didn't long come after skipping down the bar with two drinks held in her hand. "Told you." She said as she lay them down in front of me.

We drank and sing all night and the thought of anything else than having fun had been erased from my head. The drink and run through my system and relaxed me and made me feel like I was on top of the world. Until that was, I saw a familiar face walk in. Beau.

"Shit." I said as I ducked my head out of sight.

"What?" Maisy said her eyes widening and then her face turning away from me, her eyes darted behind her and she smiled.

"Why are you smili-" I started, "Fuck." I then sighed as the rest of the boys walked in behind him so I grabbed my drink and downed it, "Lets go."

Maisy denied it and got up to walk over to the bar, so I hid as best as I could. I then not long after heard singing really loudly from near the bar, so I peeked around the corner and all eyes were on the boys. I now thought this would be the best time to run as everyone was distracted, so I grabbed my coat and ran.

Luke's POV

"And shes run out!" Maisy sung from on top of the bar. "April was here, now shes goooooooone!" She said as she stepped down, my heart sunk at how nasty this girl was and how much April wanted to leave the bar to not see me by telling this mess to distract us.

I ran outside to see if I could catch her, which she was nowhere to be seen.

"She will be waiting at her house for me, not you, me. You carry on doing shit like this to my best-friend, you'll have another thing coming."

Aprils POV

I ran straight to the boys house, not even caring about Maisy, I fell on the floor and grazed my knee, some blood slightly trickling down my leg, serves me right for drinking.

I knocked slightly, not wanting to wake Gina if she wasn't up. Luckily she opened the door in only a few seconds, looking as if she hadn't been woken up. She gazed at me, "Hey, love. You OK?"

"No, not really. Can I come in?"

"What a silly question, of course you can. You seem drunk? Lets sober you up and sort your knee out." She said as we walked into the kitchen, where she handed me a pint of water and rested my leg up on her lap and started dabbing my knee with wipes and cold water.

"What's up then?" She asked.

I sighed heavily, "Luke's leaving to go back to America next week. He's presumed I am going too, but I cant leave, I have literally only just got back and now he wants to go again."

Gina then started speaking, her eyes going slightly red and tears coming down slowly. "He didn't even tell me. Its so hard, my three baby boys living across the world. Not knowing whether they're coming or going, when they are coming home, how long for and how long it will be before they come and visit again. They are my three, stuff that, all five of them are my world. I just want them home for a while. Being with them since they were babies, then them just leaving and living somewhere else, missing birthdays, family birthdays, missing waking them up everyday. You know, once Beau through a rock through Jai and Luke's bedroom window for a video, he thought it was hilarious, I didn't, I grounded him. But I would do anything to go back to that day and re-live it then just hug him. I miss the days this house got wrecked and it was loud. Now all I do is clean to keep myself occupied and it is silent, just it feels empty.

Her words hurt me, real bad. We spent the rest of the evening laughing, joking and telling each other story's about the boys and reminiscing when things were easier.