(2) Self Harm, Depression & The Janoskians

Chapter 33

The session started and we were now halfway through. I just listened to a story from a young boy called Dean who's mum had killed herself only a few months ago and he couldn't cope without her, listening to his pain literally had me in tears. I looked over at Nora and she hadn't shed a single tear, she looked empty.

"Nora," The woman who was in charge of the sessions spoke. "Would you like to share your story?"

She nodded without a single hint of hesitation. She stood up and started. "I'm not one of those people who have fucked up issues. You know, family and shit. My mum loves me, so does my dad. They've done everything for me throughout my life and I couldn't ever complain," She rigidly said. "It's those fucking people in school," Her use of cussing didn't seem to bother anyone. "They're all assholes. Bullies are the scum of this earth, they pick and pick until there's nothing left to pick, then they move along. Four years of bulling obviously did this to me, fucked me right up." She said jabbing her index finger to the side of her head. "From the way I walk, which to me is normal to the way I didn't wear makeup, stupid shit they found to pick on me about." She breathed.

I watched as she spoke, the amount of information I knew about her in the space of a minute was crazy. She had no emotion in her voice, it seemed as if she had spoken about this more than once.

"Then, this all started," She continued by waving at her face. "I've had eighteen suicide attempts, fuck knows how they've never worked. It's because after the first one, my mum sleeps in my room and follows me everywhere, so as soon as I try to, I'm down the hospital again. Now I'm there permanently, self harm is my way of now pushing the anger out, the constant reminder of how shitty they've all made me, I've never had 'friends'" She said, using quotation marks. "They're all fake and never last."

We sat for another fifteen minutes listening to her and I felt immensely sorry for her, especially knowing how the people at school treated her. She soon sat down and started itching her arm viciously, maybe she gets the same irritation as I do?

"April." The woman snapped me from my gaze. "Would you care to share your story?"

I crossed my head, I didn't feel comfortable enough to open up to a group of strangers, not now anyway. I looked back over at the scarred brunette and she sent me a smile, "Don't worry about it. Don't feel pushed into talking about it. I've had to do it for months, same old shit now." She leant over and whispered.

"Thanks." I gently replied.

"I'm going to go around the room and ask you all, who you trust, it can be as many people as you wish, just speak about who you trust with everything and anything."

Dean was fist. "My brother." He simply replied.

"My nan." The other boy next replied.

"Nobody." Nora quickly said, almost again, as if she had said the same answer everyday.

The woman and the rest of the group glared at me. "My auntie, five of my friends and their mum, but it's not all their mum, only a few."

She nodded. "Okay, thank you everyone. I'll see you all Monday." Which was two days away, I thought they were every Saturday? Before I could ask, the woman stood up and wandered off.

"I thought these sessions were every Saturday?" I asked Nora.

"No, we have a different schedule. It's a ten week course, not ten sessions."

I gently nod my head. "Oh, thanks."

As I stood up and retrieved my bag, Nora stood in front of me. "So, something's happened with your parents?" She shot.