(2) Self Harm, Depression & The Janoskians

Chapter 47

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Beaus POV

I woke up the next day to April still in my room, she lay silently next to me, her arm covered from her actions last night and sound asleep. It was so nice spending some time with her last night, but the circumstances last night were not for me. I was still angry with the way Luke was handling things last night, April was shook up due to trying to do something stupid only days ago and only moments ago before Luke got in there and by shouting at her and me didn't help anything.

I really was on edge about April going to Australia, I had fought endlessly with Luke about it but I knew April would follow Luke wherever he went and that would be home. She was happy here, I'm sure of it. Even though the last few months may have been hectic and not good, she loved it in a America. She had her support group here, which now she could attend, she has us, Luke, a home. She was happy. He was taking it all away and he was totally oblivious to it. But they was leaving tomorrow and I couldn't stop it.

I knew April was excited in someways about going home, she got to see Lindsay. I just think going home after all that's happened isn't a good idea, I wanted April here with us.

"Beau," A voice snapped my thoughts away. I turned to see who was there and it was Luke standing dumbfounded at my bedroom door.

"What?" I asked.

"How is she?"

"Sleeping," I replied. "Leave her be."

"I think she should come into my room." He said.

"No, she's perfectly fine here and by that I do not mean just in my room." I said. He rolled his eyes and shut my door.

"Beau, really it's fine," April said slowly beside me, obviously awake. "I don't mind going home."

"But you do, I don't want you to leave. None of us do. Luke's just being a selfish prick and I don't even know why."

"He just wants me to see Lindsay."

"Which is fine, I just don't see why you have to stay there after while he comes home." I said turning to look at her. She slowly opened her eyes and sighed.

"Neither do I. I feel like me and him are really drifting apart. Looking back on what we was like this time last year is completely different to how we are now. I just feel distant to him, like we don't have time to be, Luke and April anymore. I really just miss when we was all home in Australia together, don't you?"

I nodded in agreement. "I do."

"I just felt like we was all really close back home. Like we all spent loads of time together, me and Luke was at our best and strongest. It's all just turning to shit. Don't get me wrong. He still is the same, with what he did for our one year anniversary, but then he's not the same."

Luke's POV

A small tear dropped onto my hand as I sat and went over images in my head of last night. I knew something was wrong in the bathroom, I had a gut feeling and then I had to pull her naked cut body out in front of two of my brothers, which wasn't the best. Then I had to go a whole night without holding her, having the time to hold her tight and tell her I was sorry and that I love her. I had to wake up alone, not having her sleeping body beside me.

Just as I went over the overwhelming circumstances that happened tonight, the door slightly opened and April stood at just slightly inside the room, she sent me a small smile as I glared at her. "You okay?" She asked slightly sounding off edge.

I nod. "Yeah."

"Why are you crying?" She asked as she made her way over to the bed sitting beside me.

I wiped the renaming tears away with my sleeve and leaned back against the bed frame. "Nothing."

"Tell me." She pleaded.

"April, I don't want to fucking talk about it." I shot. Her facial features dropped instantly as she slightly shuffled in her place. "I'm sorry." I slowly said.

She climbed beside me and rest her head on my lap, I slowly ran my fingers through her hair and looked blankly into space. "So, we go home tomorrow." She said not sounding overly happy.

"Mhm," I said. "We do."

"I'll probably have to start working straight away again, I really don't want to straight away."

"Don't then, take a month to chill out and then you can."

"So, I'm not coming back with you then?" She questioned.

"I don't know, April, I really don't. We will see." She nod against me and sighed.

After sometime we got into bed to chill out for a few hours and April lay her cut arm on my stomach as I slowly ran my fingers up and down it as it made her relax. I then out of nowhere felt her soft lips press against my bicep and I looked down and smiled at her, "I love you." She whispered.

"I love you." I said back, slowly moving my body so I was laying mirroring her. I slowly lent in and connected her lips, making sure I kept them pressed there long enough to fulfil the need of her which was in my body. She moved her lips gently against mine as I brought my hand up to her neck and ran it through the back of her hair, her hands running through mine too.

"I miss us." I said to her.

"I miss us too."