(2) Self Harm, Depression & The Janoskians

Chapter 20

Luke literally didn't speak a word while we was driving for most of it, he didn't seem to he mad at me though otherwise he wouldn't have held my hand in the first place, he wouldn't have been acting nice to me either.

"April," He finally spoke.

"Yeah?" I said quietly as I folded back into my chair even more.

"Don't you ever wish, me and you could just live in our own little house somewhere?" He said, his topic slightly confusing me.

"What?" I laughed.

"I don't know. Somewhere small, somewhere just me and you could be me and you. We could have our own little bedroom, with your fairy lights around the bed frame like you do in your room,we could have photos of us scattered around too." He said a slight grin now forming on his face.

"Sounds good to me, but why the hell are you saying this for?" I laughed again.

"It just feels like everything is going wrong, I'm so sorry it is." He said to me as his smile wiped clean off his face again.

"Why are you sorry?"

"No reason. I just wish I could whisk you away from everything that's ever hurt you and start again, just you and me."

"I don't need whisking away. I'm actually quite happy at the moment. I actually feel really happy, it's been a while where I haven't even felt the need to-" I said tilting my head. "You know."

"Cut?" He said getting straight to the point.

"Yeah. I really am happy." I said, which wasn't a hundred percent true, but to a degree it was.

• • • •

All the way back he kept going on and it felt like he kept tying to persuade me that I wasn't happy so I decided to give up on saying how I was and ignore him, then when we finally got home he stormed upstairs and left me in the hallway.

Something was really wrong with the way he was acting latley, I couldn't suss it out what it was though. I decided to go into the kitchen and found Beau in there already, he looked up at me and smiled while bits of burger were being scoffed in his mouth.

"Oh, Beau don't you look sexy with burger falling out of your mouth." I laughed, he nodded.

"Sure do, this is how I pull the lady's. Spit burger in their face." He said before posing and winking while sticking out his tongue with the burger contents mushed up on it.

"Wow, so hot." I said.

He winked again. "You know that's why I get the girls."

I laughed and sat opposite him, I fiddled with my hands and looked down on the table as he carried on eating.

"So, what's the matter?" He said as I looked up at him as he stared at me intently.

"What do you mean? There's nothing wrong." I said.

He rolled his eyes. "C'mon, April. Don't play stupid, I know when you're upset. I was the one who you became friends with before anyone else remember," He said to me, "And we are the closest out of us all apart from you and Luke."

I sighed. "Luke's acting really weird."

"How?" He said while shovelling another bite of his burger in his mouth.

"Maybe it's me being me, but he's just acting weird. Like, we was in the car earlier and I was telling him how happy I was and he kept tying to persuade me I wasn't."

"Well are you?"

"Am I what?"

"Happy?" He asked.