(2) Self Harm, Depression & The Janoskians

Chapter 37

Luke's POV

I watched as the love of my life crumbled in front of me. How could I now tell her I was lying? Of course I wouldn't ever cheat on her? I blurted out I kissed her to stop April finding out the suprise. Which is stupid.

Beau immediately stepped in and started on me. "You're a fucking idiot." He spits as I look at the other boys. Each apart from Beau really know why I've lied, but I hope they know this is a lie to cover up the plan.

"I know." I blurted. Should I keep up this lie? I sure know it's hurting her already and it will do until the truth comes out.

"April..." I continue. "I..."

"Save it." She swallows. "I knew something was up. I just didn't want to face the truth."

Her and Beau walk away and I am left to stir in my own thoughts. "You've really fucked up." James said.

I shoot him a glare and let out a small non-serious laugh. "You fucking idiot. Obviously I didn't kiss her."

"Then why say it?" Daniel asks.

"I don't want her finding out about the suprise."

"What a way to cover it up! She could do unthinkable things now."

I felt immediately sick as the words fell from his lips, shit. I didn't want to tell her the surprise at all, but he was right. She could seriously fucking hurt herself. "Fuck." I groan and run my hands over my face.

"Well done!" Beau shouts. "She wants to leave and go to a fucking hotel."

"Right one of you explain what the fuck is going on to Beau! Because I am not going to take shit of this knob when I haven't actually done what I'm saying."

I stand up and leave them all in the living room and make my way upstairs.

Aprils POV

As tears pour from my eyes I can't help but cry, my chest is tight and I feel nauseous. I am going to kill Alexa and Luke for that matter. I still couldn't believe this had happened.

Luke, my Luke. The boy who was supposed to love me for absolutely everything went and kissed the worst person he could of. The girl who hated me and I did exactly the same, well I didn't exactly hate her, well I didn't. I just hated her personality and attitude.

"April..." Luke coos as he walks inside the room. "This is all going to be okay."

"Okay?" I laugh. "You kissed someone!"

Luke's eyes close and he sighs deeply. "What's going to happen? Next week will be a year together."

"Shove your year up where it shouldn't be shoved! I don't want you near me! Let alone celebrate how you're a cheat."

"I'm not a cheat." His words come out as if he actually believes that.

"What do you call it then?"

"A drunken, very drunken, mistake."

"I need to go." I quickly say as I turn back to my bag.

"Go where?" He shoots back.

"A hotel, something, anything away from here, from you."

"I'll stay in one with you! We can sort this."

"No! I don't want you near me! Not since you've been near... Her."

"Fuck!" He exhales loudly. "Well you're not going alone."

"Beau is coming with me, I just need to wrap my head around this. It won't be forever."

"Will you speak to me soon." He says, I turn back to look at him and his eyes are bloodshot and tears are escaping his eyes.

I nod and carry on sorting a bag. "Do you hate me?"

"No." I sigh. "I should though."

"Then what? You love me?"

"How can you ask that? Obviously I still love you! I just don't know what to do!" I cry again even harder.

I grab my bag and make my way downstairs and walk into the living room, Beau is sitting with the boys deep in conversation. He nods and glances at me before standing up, "Ready?" He asks.

I nod and walk to the front door, Luke is now downstairs and Beau taps his back and whispers in his ear. Before joining me, we exit the house and into the car and make our way to a hotel.

Luke's POV

James and I lay in my room speaking about tonight's events as I ponder on the thoughts of Beau and Aprils departure. My stomach turned at the thought of them two being alone. But I knew nothing wouldn't ever happen. "Did you tell Beau the real reason?"

"Yeah, don't panic," He said. "This will all be sorted."

"Thanks James." I say.

"For what?"

"Being a best mate. Always here for me."

"That's what I'm here for and what I do." He replies. "And you're my princess."

His comment ended up us both bursting out into laughter and my worry faded for a few seconds. "Ah, I'm so scared."

"Don't be, when she realises why you've done this, she will be happy, I'll miss you."

"Shut up," I hit his arm. "I'll miss you too."

• • • •

April POV

"April open the door!" Beau shouted from outside the door.

The razor was tightly wrapped in my hand, my eyes clamped shut tight. I am not going to let this situation make me hurt myself, I'm better than that. I throw the razor in the bin and flush the chain to make it seem as if I was going to the toilet. I open the door and Beau looks panicked. "I was only using the bathroom, I promise."

We make our way over to the beds and lay down silently. "This is all going to be okay." Beau whispers.

"I know." I tell him. "I just can't believe he's done this."

"Mhm." He replies bluntly.

• • • •

The next day Beau and I sit in a small café near the hotel and eat a large breakfast and I manage to scoff it down regardless of my appetite disappearing.

Just then the door chimes ring and a familiar face enters. A face I want to destroy. "April..." Beau notices and I stand up immediately.

"You!" I shout and walk over to her.

"You!" She jokes back.

"Don't fucking joke around with me! You've fucked my whole life up! Keep your dirty hands off my boyfriend!" Boyfriend? Is he now?

"What are you on about?"

"You! Kissing Luke."

She then burst out into laughter. "Me kiss Luke?" She grins. "He wishes."

"He told me he kissed you! There's no point covering it up."

"I didn't fucking kiss him!"