(2) Self Harm, Depression & The Janoskians

Chapter 58

Two years had passed, two years clean and two years without Luke.

I walked into my apartment, brushing my fingertips against my sofa and finally relaxed after a long day at work. I often think back about the last night I saw Luke, and Beau...well all of the boys.

I had relapsed, sat drenched in my own blood and just in the worst possible state I had been in a while, my life was crazy back then, I never really let myself get better. I had moved away, came to Brisbane, leaving my auntie and everyone else I love behind. But, I needed it, I needed to reach a happiness I hadn't felt in a long time, the boys and Luke gave me love and comfort but I don't think the crazy life I was leading was helping with my depression at all.

After just getting home from work, I relaxed for about fifteen minutes and put my shoes back on and grabbed my keys, rushing out.

Therapy. Something I had always denied I needed, but the new lease of life it has given me was amazing, I feel calm, whole again, clean and free.

I drove along the busy streets of Brisbane stuck in traffic, I am going to be late! Shaking my leg beneath me waiting for the lights to change far ahead, I peered ahead hoping the cars would move along soon enough. "Come on!" I shouted.

Finally, moving I quickly turned left and sped down the side street, parking in the parking lot. I jumped out and ran inside, walking to the receptionist, she was new, I hadn't seen her before, long red hair, piercing blue eyes, a combination I had never seen before.

"Hi love, can I take your name?" She asked snapping me out of my glare.

"Yes! Sorry, it's April Maiden." I smiled. "Dr. Asher will be ready, do you know where to go?" She replied, I nodded gently and walked down to my therapist's office.

"April!" He beamed as I walked in, "How are you? It's been two weeks, it nice to see you again."

"How was your holiday Jon?" I asked him. I hadn't been for a few weeks as he was on his honeymoon with his wife, she was picture perfect long brown wavy hair, deep brown eyes and the perfect olive complexion,  I sometimes find myself looking at the photo of them on his desk just thinking how perfect they are together.

"Perfect! Sara and me had such a great time, I still can't believe she is now a Mrs Sara Asher." He smiled. "Now, shall we start?"
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I walked out of the building feeling great, better than I had for the past week Dr Asher had a way of making me feel like that after every session with him, I jumped into my car and instantly was starving, my long shift at work with no food had finally caught up to me, I drove to the closest fast food chain I could find and parked up, grabbing my purse.

I walked in and the instant smell of fries hit my nose, god I am hungry. Glaring at the menu pretending I was looking for a new choice of food when knowing I was going to choose the same thing I always have, I ordered.

Standing aside waiting for my dinner, I peered over to a couple sitting eating their food, a dark blonde haired girl sat with her hands locked into her boyfriends, smiling, her blue eyes locked into his, oh how happy they seem. I missed that, it is lonely living somewhere where you're only friend you feel you have is someone you work with.

I grabbed my food, walking out I still caught myself looking at this gorgeous girl, laughing whilst shovelling french fries down her throat...literally me.

I turned and looked at the boy she was with, curly brown hair, bright tattoos down his arm, a Nike jumper and the most beautiful lips I had ever seen....oh my fucking god. I clenched my eyes hoping when I opened them mine and this boys eyes would unlock as I soon remembered where I had seen them beautiful lips before...

"April?"