(2) Self Harm, Depression & The Janoskians

Chapter 29

I awoke somewhat earlier the next day, I was sitting with Gina drinking coffee at the dinner table while she played around on her laptop. "Your tickets are all booked, you leave Wednesday night. Luke will be waiting." She told me as I nodded, "Can I take you to the airport? It's only, I really want to see Luke?" She quickly said.

"Of course!" I exclaimed, "I'm sure he'd love to see you."

"Good, I hope so too." A smile grew on her face.

I sat thinking about my situation. How, I couldn't even wander the streets of my own area because of the worry that my dad may be lurking around, the sick images of how he had brutally beaten me before rushed through my mind. I felt chills rush up my spine as I cringed at the thought, "Do you want to go back?" Gina interrupted my thoughts.

I shrugged. "I suppose. I just want the boys, it wouldn't make a difference if they was here."

She nodded, "LA seems fun though?"

"It is." I said.

"I was thinking about going out there in a few months." She added.

"Yeah, Lindsay told me, you should. They've got more than enough space in their house."

"Is it big then?"

"Huge!" I exclaimed. "Bigger than I thought it would be."

She sighed, while smiling. "It's surreal isn't it? My boys, living the life they do."

"It's crazy, especially with the amount of fans they have, they must love it. I'm so lucky to have met them the way I did."

"I'm happy you did, you've brought nothing but happiness to my boys, especially Luke. I really think he loves you, April."

I blushed, "They make me happy too."

"Do you remember how we met? That was a while ago, thinking back."

I nodded, I do remember. How she spilled coffee all over my arm in the train station and tried to help me clean up, but instead saw every cut on my arm there was. Now to think, I only thought she'd be a passing stranger, but I was way off. "I do."

"How is all of your- you know?" She said, "Problems?"

I swallowed. "Fine, thanks." I didn't want to speak about it too much, because it always make me feel bad feelings. Of course now I was thinking about my cuts and the irritation in my arms set in. I felt as if it has been a long while since I last cut. But the overwhelming sensation literally overtook me and I felt bad for even thinking about it.

"Good, I'm glad." Smiling at me, she sipped at her coffee.

• • • •

My head rolled back in a laugh, "Are you serious?"

"Yeah! He's literally doing it right now!" James chuckled.

"Put him on the phone."

The phone then was passed to Luke as I heard him sing his sentences. "Hello!" He said dragging out his words.

"Luke, you need to put some clothes on, you can't just go into James' room naked and try and sing to him." I told him, the alcohol obviously taking over his actions.

"But," He groaned," I've been practicing all night- I just-" He then let out a slight burp and then laughed, "I wanted to show him."

"But you can't waltz in his room, wearing nothing but socks and holding a gutair."

"Can I sing it to you and James at the same time, then I'll leave." He slurred again before hiccuping.

I heard James call to hang up and FaceTime me, which Luke did. Moments later an incoming call came through and I answered and I was greeted with a close up of Luke's face. "Look James! It's April!" He said waving the phone to James' face.