His Fia

CHAPTER 1

A calm smile plays on my lips as the wind pummels my face, billowing my hair behind me as I turn the right corner. Dust shoots out from behind my motorbike as I speed down the track I found with Adelyn and Val this morning.

We left hours ago to get dinner, but I felt like going for another ride so here I am.

For some reason it brings me an overwhelming sense of peace. Maybe it's the freedom it gives me, or the fact that it's just me, or perhaps it's because it reminds me of when Carlos and I were on good terms, and he taught me how to ride a motorbike.

I turn the headlights on as darkness begins to turn the sky from pink to black, squinting to see the road ahead.

I can suddenly hear Carlos' voice in my ears again; "Fia don't ever ride at night without me. It's too dangerous, you can't see and other people are more reckless at night, I would never forgive myself if something happened to you on a bike," and almost subconsciously I turn around, keeping my promise to him.

I speed up to try and get to my car quicker, no part of me actually wanting to leave, leaving means tomorrow comes sooner, and I've been dreading tomorrow ever since Adelyn announced her and Luca's engagement.

Don't get me wrong, I'm so incredibly happy for them, I know it's a good thing that they're getting married, but it means I'll have to see him again.

I haven't seen him since the accident, since he got shot in my place. Since I threatened to kill an entire building of people if he died, and then left. Left like a coward. I'll never be able to forgive myself for leaving him like that.

Even though we had ended whatever we were, it was cruel to leave him like that, especially after what he told me in the ambulance.

You're just looking out for him. You don't want to expose him to the ugly parts of your life.

I know he would say he doesn't care about that, at least I thought that was what he'd say. But he agreed with my decision to stay out of each others lives. He doesn't know the real reason why, but he seemed ok with my decision. And maybe that's what hurts the most. That he didn't try and fight it, when a part of me wanted him to.

I make it to my car and stop my bike, hopping off and massaging my sore thighs as I unlock it. I pick up my bike and drag it into my boot, carefully shutting the door as to not scratch it.

I make my way to the drivers side and get in my car, locking the door as I start it. I lean back in my seat and close my eyes.

I should just run away.

And leave Adelyn on her wedding day? You're better than that.

I'm a coward, that's what I am. Too pussy to face Carlos again. When I know I'm in the wrong.

I run a hand down my face in annoyance at the voice in my head, always keeping in line as I put my seatbelt on. I put my lights on and begin the half hour drive to my apartment in Italy.

I drive in silence as I run through possible scenarios for how tomorrow could go. Overthinking every line I could say, overthinking shit that hasn't even fucking happened yet.

I heard what Adelyn and Val said earlier, and I appreciate their thoughts, but at the same time I don't think they know how destructive their actions could be.

Putting me and Carlos together ends the same every time. We'll reconnect, fuck, have a deep conversation about our relationship and then both leave and break the others heart. It's a cycle which we can't get out of. It's been the same since the annual ball, where we first met.