The real Killer

Twenty Two

Khushi looked at Pranjal,her boyfriend and sighed. She loves this man. It's true. It's like there is this bond,one side giving away everything and otherwise taking everything as his right. He feels she is his property,not a human being with feelings. He feels that she should never stand ahead of him,nor equal to him. This is a weird relationship. It's like all her card, concern,silence,prayer,meant nothing. If she was a rich man's daughter,gave him pocket money to spend,may be it would have given her more right. He even made her borrow money from her girlfriends and sister. These small debts has not even been paid.

He reads a lot of spiritual books,has some followers too. Yet he forgets life is an experience that we have to go through. Life is a ride,roller coaster. He thinks of an ideal life. Yet he does not see the same ideal he has set,had someone they love very much. He sees a theory in those books and thinks to become that.

Now Khushi wonders,sitting alone,what kind of life is that? He wants her to forget everyone even her Devi maa. Whatever he thinks is right. Otherwise she is a demon from hell.

She laughed. Is it not right? Is she not a demon from hell. When these nights she feels the burn on her skin,the cuts on her,when her eyes hurt,when she just wished to die,doesnot that make her a demon from hell..

He had asked her out. Actually she had. She truelly doesnot know what Arnav thinks. She just wishes to be free. She wanted to see what Pranjal would do. If she pushes him away. Would he put effort? Not just calling or asking if she has eaten or not,or if she wants to go to his place. Real effort,to make her comfortable,tobe her haven. Love is love. She had seen how much her love for Anand had been rewarded. Now she wanted to see how this one ends.

They had gone to the Dargha. Sat under the huge Banyan tree. She was silent looking at the sky. She had no question for Arnav,no question for Anand,no question for anyone. All she wished to ask God,is there any necessary for her to exist,to breath . She is just an unlucky star. Where ever she goes people only feel hurt. She cannot even look into the eyes of Guptas,cannot bear the touch of Pranjal. She cannot tell Arnav anything. Cannot even meet her mother. Why is it so hard?

Pranjal as usual was busy,with his talking. Great ideals,great knowledge. She wished to scream and tell him,shut up you little brat. But she cannot. Sh would not. She heard his sense talk. According to him,she was falling into depression. She was not talking to him,and it meant she should die and rot in hell..

She has turned her face from light,the great light called Pranjal. She should smile at him,be coy with him,cook his favorite food,beg for his love, attention. That is what love is. She should forget her existence. It's only ego. She is nothing,she exists only because of him. She should be eternally grateful for these knowledge and the love that he is showering on her and blah blah..

She continued to listen. His best friend from whom he had great hopes,with whom he discussed his ideas, knowledge has fallen too. He has got married to a colleague. Both the most important people of his life had deserted him. Yet by God's grace he found new people. Few youngsters..

She continued listening. Yet her heart prayed. God save those children. They should learn to be practical in life. Knowledge is good,belief is good. Yet how we use this knowledge is on us. Building sandcastle without even a strong pillar,it's not life..

May be she was too practical. May be she had seen too much in life that had turned her views like that. But now,she had no wish,for Anand,for Pranjal,from Subhadra,from Guptas. No one. It's like she is dead from 2ithin. Her heart had become cold..

She told him something,like to be practical,to do something. It hurts her. She wants to be a little bit happy. And he became a hedgedog after that. They fought according to him. She insulted him. He screamed. Told her,she would have no one,she would beg for death yet would not. That he was no one to her. That he was leaving her..

She smiled ruefully. Donot know why,but it felt so familiar. Like at least dozen times a year she had heard the same. How he could have fairies if he wanted. How his mother wanted him to get married etc etc. Khushi had cried,afraid.

But now,Khushi only felt dead. Sh laughed. Prayed for a miracle,that somehow her she finds her Anand. Otherwise for these words only,she would kill this brat,slowly,but painfully. Not with poison,not with weapon. Just by making him feel so proud that he would float in sky. And when he would land,there would be no one there,to hold him..

Childish games,egos,anger and words,she was really tired of it. May be she is a sinner. But sometimes when someone is wounded,and we pour salt ont hat wound,only result is being wounded ourselves..