My Starseed Meets Me In A Different World

CHAPTER CVIII

Enos

The War of Unraveled Minds.

"You don't seem to be enjoying much of your meal, dear. Are you feeling unwell?"

My vacant gaze carried from the window I had been idle staring at over to where my now legally-wed bride, the former eldest Princess of the Kindom of Aurisia who was as of current, presently known as Her Highness, the Archduchess of Xuegate, Gaiane.

My wife.

The one that shouldn't have been but I ended up stuck with.

To say I was displeased, would be an underestimation. I was repulsed, not necessarily by her exactly—she was an exceptionally attractive woman; clearly from a good background, royal bloodline, and exquisite talents all packaged in with her humble personality, but she was not the one that I desired. She would never be the one I yearned for.

I simply married out of convenience as any other royal who was an extension of the crown would to help further the progress of the Kingdom; it was my duty, nothing more or less.

If I could become of use to her, I would do it. Blindly, I would.

What should I have chosen anyway? Should I have wasted time courting the aristocrats of Vesnesian society? Whose families already looked down upon me as a contender for the throne or even a prince at that? No. It was far better to take someone who had slim to no knowledge of my past and the way that I could control the narrative.

Then I would be able to have them look at me with anything other than...

Pity.

Divines! The simple repugnance I felt whenever I saw one's eyes dimmer with sadness, the pure softness of one's gaze as they looked upon me like a needy animal squandering about the streets, helpless, hungry, fatigued, and in need of shelter. I was no longer a child, the gazes of sorrowfulness did nothing for me other than further fuel my vexation for the condition I had been born in.

To be born with a curse. To be born with an illness that could not be cured. It was a horror I would never want to experience in any other lifetime if there were more after this one.

How unlucky.

The poor child, he must be suffering.

If only the Divine Gods could take him out of his suffering.

How many times have I heard those words out of the mouths of physicians... the many, many doctors that have exerted control over my care; none were able to give me the answers or the comfort I was looking for. Except for one.

Physician Svanlor.

She was the only one worthy of treating me, who didn't look at me like a lost cause, or something to be feared or experimented on. A simple calming smile and a wink with the assurance that even with the worst of diagnoses, with the appropriate team, things could be manageable.

Still, manageable wasn't enough for me.

What would it take for someone to be cured? To be freed from the physical setbacks that prevented me from standing beside my siblings as equals.

"I am fine." I finally responded after a moment of contemplative thought.

She observed me with a furrowed brow, "You haven't said anything since we sat down together." She pursed her lips. "Perhaps the sun is a bit too bright in the indoor greenhouse room?" She suggested.

"It's fine."

"The physician—." I cut her off.

"Is there a particular section within my statement that you are unable to comprehend? When one states there is nothing wrong and that they are fine do you automatically assume they are fabricating the truth of their emotion?" I inquired.