The Mail Woman

32

*Kassidy

I saw her car pull up. She parked 2 cars down from me. I got out and walked to her car. I opened the door and she stepped out. I grabbed her hand and pulled her to me. I wrapped my arm under her shoulder and my hands laid on her lower back. Her arm wrapped around my waist and her head lay on my chest. She sighed as she snuggled into my chest. I squeezed her tighter then let her go. She looked at me.

"You wanna go to my car or stay at yours??" I asked

"Can we stay at mine??" She asked

"Yeah..." I said

She got on the driver's side and I got on the passenger side. She was sitting back in her seat with her head turned towards the window. I placed my hand on her thigh and squeezed it. She looked at me.

"What happened??" I asked

"I don't think you'll want me venting about Clark..." she said

"If it'll help you then I'll listen..." I said

She bit her lip and sighed.

"It's just he just saying how he knows he fucked up. How he knows what he did was fucked up. How he shouldn't have gone away from me when we had just gone through a traumatic experience. How he wants my forgiveness. He wants to move forward with building the trust back. Fix our marriage and be back like we were..." she said looking straight ahead

"Do you want that??" I asked

"I want to move past it. I want to be truly cordial with him. I want to move forward. I want to forgive but I definitely won't forget. But what I don't want is him. I can't get past what he did to me. I can get ova it. I'm hurt, I'm still hurting. I don't know when I'll get ova it and I don't know if I will. I just think about everything I put away and sacrificed for him. But he doesn't see it that way. I wish he could understand what's going on with me, at least..." she said as tears filled her eyes

I didn't know what to say or do to help her. I don't like seeing her like this. It's not her.

"I wanted to have a child soooo badly. He gave that to me, then the baby was taken away. I asked him for another one and he wouldn't give that to me. The one thing I really wanted, he couldn't give me a baby..." she finished with a tear falling down her face

It was silent for about 15 minutes.

I grabbed her hand and she looked at me. I wiped her eyes and kissed her forehead.

"Come here..." I said softly

She lifted up and I gently pulled her into my lap. She was looking down at her hands. I placed my finger under her chin and made her look at me.

"What can I do to make you feel better??" I asked

"I don't know..." she said before sniffing

I pulled her close and hugged her. Her face was buried in my neck as she snuggled into me. I rubbed her back. Seeing her like this bothers me. I don't know why she just won't leave him. Maybe it's something I can't understand. Maybe she still loves him, but don't know if she could get back with him after what he did. Maybe she just doesn't know.

We were laying there in silence. After a while, I felt her breathing slow down.

"Pretty Lady..." I said and she didn't say nun
"Winter..."

She done went to sleep.

I shook her a bit. She moved but snuggled her face back into my neck. I decided to let her sleep. I sat there for a while and my eyes started to get heavy. I closed them and let sleep take ova.